Why is choosing to love everyone such a hard sell? Because:
1) we ask people to "earn" our love
2) we think if we love everyone, even the bus-driver, then our love is not special
3) we believe love is about who is loved not who chooses to love and
4) we think we become more vulnerable when we love.
Totally incorrect. Those who choose to love, choose power, kindness and caring from within. Choose love!
Can people experience and change because you love them? As if your love "infiltrates" their physiological and spiritual systems without their permission. The basics: stimulus-belief-response. When someone loves you, in your universe, they are the "stimulus." You can be open to how they choose to be with you and feel nourished. You can also decide to be fearful or self-protective. It's your option!
I read somewhere that a child will do almost anything to stay attached to a parent, even one that is abusive. Could that be where the "feeling vulnerable if you love" idea comes from?ReplyDelete
On the other hand, longing for the nourishment of love isn't really the same thing as actively loving. Loving someone does come from a power within and it isn't a vulnerability.
But what about wanting to be loved -- is that ok? I see school kids go right up to the teacher and ask for love and attention. They go for that hug, the pat on the head. They are open and get nourished. Why do some of us stay fearful and self-protective, not asking for love or for what we want? Protecting what?
I guess some of us link the other person's willingness to love us (or not) to our own self worth. And those kids that are so willing to ask for that love don't link it that way. This issue has been a real stickler for me. I've linked these two things together for too long, and I keep out too much nourishment...I'm going to switch this around. I know that loving is nourishing; accepting love is nourishing. No more "protecting"...keeps out too much and suffocates the soul.
I just read my comment before attending Optimal Self Trust...change that... at this moment I'm believing that it isn't really accepting love that is the nourishment, but sharing love with each other. And it still has to do with creating that love to share and me being happy with me.ReplyDelete
If I'm not happy with me, no amount of showering love on me will fill me up - it could even feel negative. However, showering love on someone might inspire them to change a belief that they are unworthy, and then they might fill themselves up with good feelings. But I now see that it still comes from a belief I hold - I fill myself up based on what I'm believing about the world and myself.