A new belief: I always land on my feet.

I love doing gratitude. Gratitude is certainly one of the quickest pathways to happiness and the path of first choice for me. Recently as I was looking back over my life thru the lens of gratitude, I focused on situations in which I experienced mid-to-strong degrees of unhappiness. I’m talking depression, tears, victim hood, anxiety, rejection, physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse and self rejection. Yikes ... I almost forgot pain , sorrow, and low self esteem too.

I realized something. I realized that when all was said and done, I was not only fine but actually better because of those experiences. The “better-ness” was in response to what I did with the unhappiness. Whether making it into a beneficial learning for myself or full appreciating that the consequence of the unhappy experience was honoring of myself and who I want to be in the world. To make this awareness even grander, I see that each and every experience of unhappiness I have had, thru the lens of gratitude, becomes useful to me. Also of note, is my greater ability to not judge my experience initially. No judgement means no unhappiness. I am not quite 100% in my fulfillment of my intent not to judge, yet I am further ahead than I was.

From this I’ve created a new belief. A belief of trust, of strength, of ownership, of durability, of self love and one of acceptance. That new belief is that I always land on my feet. No wobble, no out of balance, squarely and smack dab on my feet. So whatever might happen, I know that I will always land on my feet. Yes, a take off on “everything happens for my benefit” with a different expression to it.

I better get going because I'm going to die!

From River Abel:

Roger Housden wrote in SEVEN SINS FOR A LIFE WORTH LIVING the following: “In Japan there is an entire worldview that appreciates the value of the imperfect, unfinished, and faulty. Wabi Sabi is the aesthetic view that sees beauty in the modest and humble, the irregular and earthy. It holds that beauty comes with the patina of age and in the changes that come with use. It lies in the cracks, the worn spots; in the green corrosion of bronze, the pattern of moss on a stone. The Japanese take pleasure in mistakes and imperfections.

Day by day, tiny specks of us float away. No matter which exercise or diet regimen we follow, no matter which self-help guru we believe in, nothing will dispel the reality that we are not built to last. Death is our supreme limitation, the final proof that perfection was never meant to be part of the human experience. A hundred years from now, all new people. Sooner rather than later, we shall not be here: no eyes, no nose, no ears, no tongue, no mind; no you or me—gone.

Yet knowing the extent of our limitation, feeling our soon-not-to-be-here-ness in our bones, is the best condition we can have for waking up to the miracle that we are here now at all. And if you think about it, that is the brilliance of the human design plan: The built-in “defect” is the very thing that can spur us to drink down the full draught as it comes to us. Better to taste it now, this life that we have, than to defer it to some future that may never come.”

I came across this as I was flipping through that book to help narrow down my blog topic. Contemplating my death was pretty much low on my proverbial list of things to do. I had too much unhappiness to do in past and boy oh boy, did I do it well ! Whining, moaning, finger pointing, yelling, crying, disengaging, over eating, not exercising ... blah, blah, blah ... I did a great deal of drama for years over my prior employer treatment of me. Yet I had been afraid to leave out of fear. This past spring I left as an easy decision which was rooted in the question “what do I want ?”. I wanted to leave. Period. Finally, and with great gratitude for my tenacity looking at this topic, I left after almost 28 years of employment. Months later, I continue to be comfortable and confident over this decision. No regrets. I look forward.

I have accessed my self love again and turned that up and am rockin’ with it. My desires and wants are running rampant rather than being squashed by my unhappiness. It feels wonderful to be wanting again. I see my wanting as a direct and profound connection with my level of happiness. The happier I am, the more I want. While tangible items area a small part of my wantings, they are focused more on experiences I want to have, connections with others I want to create, fears and walls I want to explore and change, a new business I’ve started and am moving towards making very successful, friends I want to see and invest in deeper relationships, travel, likely move out of the area, etc. A fun thing I want to do is to take tap dance lessons again! I’ve got a call into the dance studio that I took lessons starting when I was 8 years old as I still know the family that runs the place. Hear that ?... The music is starting ... 5, 6, 7, 8 ... I’m becoming a voracious wanter now and am tapping my way towards them !

What’s my connection with wanting and death? I just got it today. A close friend for years has shared with me that he contemplates his own death every day. Bears has mentioned “ momento morte” in a handful of programs I’ve taken. Oh ... “momento morte” ...means “remember you will die”. This was a common greeting amongst a group of monks in Italy centuries ago. Today I recognized that I got a great deal of wantings I want and I am sure I will create others too. As another friend told me “when you’re dead, you’re dead for a very long time”. I want so much. My time is limited.

As the quote above states so well“The built in "defect" ( death) is the very thing that can spur us to drink down the full draught as it comes to us. Better to taste now, this life we have, than to defer it to some future that may never come”. So raise your glass with mine and let us all go for our wantings as we're going to die!

From Bears: YOU, ME & CURVED SPACE

From Bears (Barry Neil Kaufman/Option Institute Co-Founder)

YOU, ME & CURVED SPACE: Okay, do I turn left or right, do I move forward or back? Theoretically, if you split an atom, send each part in opposite direction, one day as they travel forward, on the curve of space, both parts would meet each other in some distant place. Often, we think the big deal was not whether we turned left or right but, actually, what gives us our life experience is whether we inspired ourselves, jumped in passionately, gave it our all, went for the gold....and yet, at the same time, be always willing to let go. To let go? That's the power position...to keep going but without ever needing to get what we're going for in order to be happy. But only let go when we want to let go. Some of us give up our dreams before we birth them fully (that's about fear of failure and pouting in advance just in case we don't get what we want). Sure...choose well. Sure...bring your happiness and love and kindness with you. Sure...you can make believe it's all about which way you turned -- however, remember the split atom. It's not the destination, it's how you chose to travel. Where we are is never simply defined by our circumstances, it's defined by our attitude and inner state of mind. Look around, whether you have money right now or a great relationship or a typically functioning child or health, what you do have it YOU. And you get to always decide about how you want YOU to be. Happy curved space..
Love, Bears (Barry Neil Kaufman/Option Institute/Son-Rise Program Co-Founder)

Just LOVE 'Em

FROM LORNA: Ahhh…to be teaching high school again. As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, I’ve recently returned to teaching high school art and graphic design after a 20 month leave of absence.

It’s always funny to me when I tell people I’m a high school teacher and their first reaction is , “Eww. That must be a hard job working with teens these days!” The look on their face is sheer disgust. It’s the face I would make if someone told me they cleaned port-a-potties for a living. But, in my experience as a high school teacher, teens get a bad rap. The majority of them are incredibly smart and articulate and exceptionally well-behaved.

But there is that small percentage of teens that are clearly unhappy in their lives and completely disappointed in the school system so they wreak havoc. I’ve always had one or two in each of my classes, and quite honestly, in the past, I didn’t particularly like them. I’d find myself in power struggles, in which, no matter what the outcome, nobody ever wins.

BUT…the one who LOVES the most WINS. Samahria’s quote was one that resonated with me this week when I found myself slipping into my old self with one of these students. I’ll call him “Nick.” Nick is argumentative. I swear if I went over to him and told him I’d give him $1000, I’m pretty sure he’d balk at what bank I was using and the types of bills I was giving him. From the moment he stepped foot in my classroom, he was clearly angry he had to be there, and he SOOOO didn’t want to participate in any of the activities I was offering.

But, I decided to love him anyway. Friday, I came to school with the intention to LOVE him, no matter what. So when I talked to him about how I was simply there to help him and I sincerely wanted him to be successful in this class and in life, I could actually feel a SHIFT in him. He suddenly had a sparkle in his eye. He didn’t stop being argumentative, but it seemed much more playful. When I asked Nick to help me pick up some items on the tables, he did it. I thanked him and he was quick to enthusiastically say “You’re welcome.”

Samahria, of course, is right. The one who loves the most definitely does WIN. No matter what the future brings for me and this kid, I will always feel GOOD about loving him. And with that, I will ALWAYS WIN.

Never Give Up Hope

FROM BEARS: He spent 24 years institutionalized. He is now 33, and 9 months ago his mom dared to take her autistic son out of this facility to start a Son-Rise Program. We trained this courageous mom and her staff. Initially, this young man was super withdrawn, aggressive/violent, non-communicative. This week, I watched him work with our staff...he has become a gentle soul, communicating, interactive. NEVER GIVE UP HOPE.
Love, Bears

Accomplishments

FROM BEARS (Barry Neil Kaufman): Breakfast Discussion: Does it matter? Does it matter that you achieve what you wanted to achieve, get recognition for your accomplishments and be approved of by others? Would it be sweet? Sure. Does it matter? Ah, that's up for grabs. What... I believe matters is how you did what you did. With love? With sincerity? With authenticity? With kindness? Applause comes from the outside, divinity is within.

More on "does it matter?" If you want recognition and applause, go to the mirror and give yourself a standing ovation. That you matter to you, that you approve of you, that you know your own caring and decency...ah, that's the ballgame. And if you're not quite ready to do that because you want to change parts of yourself...do it anyway as you work on yourself. Happiness and love as a choice right now is the path to happiness and love – not judgment or self-condemnation. Go ahead, check yourself out in the mirror, give yourself a big smile and lots of love.

Love, Bears (Co-Founder/Option Institute)

You Have Your Own Answers

FROM BEARS (Barry Neil Kaufman): Foundational Principle #2, Option Process^® (what we teach at The Option Institute). YOU HAVE YOUR OWN ANSWERS. We often look to experts, institutions, media and the people around us for our answers. Certainly, others can contribute their thoughts and suggestions. However, we teach people that they are, in the end, their own best experts on themselves and they can access their own answers/insights/wisdom.

Imagine if each of us decided that our moms and dads and partners and teachers and counselors and friends have the best of intention in their guidance for us. But also imagine that they do not live in our skin or walk in our shoes. We are decidedly alone with our internal experiences and internal landscape (that's not bad news, but great news)...because we are also the architects of that landscape. Imagine relaxing, creating more self-acceptance, more happiness - therefore more clarity...and then deciding to ask ourselves (not anyone else)..."what do I want to do?" "How do I want to live my life- and with whom?"

Love, Bears

For decades, I have taught and used PowerDialogues to ask nonjudgmental questions of myself and uncover (and change) core beliefs which allowed me to redirect my life...and feel complete ownership and excitement for that life (as well has teach others to do the same). Imagine, at the end of your life, saying: "No Regrets" It’s within the reach of all of us.

Happiness is a Choice

FROM BEARS (Barry Neil Kaufman): Foundational Principles of the Option Process (what we teach at Option Institute) #1 - HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE: Though many of us speak as if our emotions happen to us, we believe that they are responses we choose in an effort to take care of ourselves. Misery, fear, anger, distress, and discomfort are optional, not inevitable. We can show you how to make emotional choices of comfort to enhance your life.

Love, Bears

Believe in What You Want, Not What Is

FROM BEARS (Barry Neil Kaufman): The impossible become possible because someone dreams it so. Being realistic has to do with the past...confining ourselves to what someone did or didn't accomplish yesterday. That means nothing about today or tomorrow.

One person's dismissed folly can be another person's determined reach for the stars. What's the difference? Self-Trust/Self-Reliance. Believe in what you want, not what is.

Chinese proverb: "People who say it can't be done shouldn't get in the way of the people doing it."

More love, Bears

Passion & Persistence

FROM BEARS (Barry Neil Kaufman): If we want to be a force of nature, then we not only require clarity and conviction, but the willingness to throw ourselves into whatever we care about.

Passion is giving it our "all," with excitement and enthusiasm. Persistence is going for it over and over; to keeping going for what we want no matter what the evidence. Believe is our dreams, in what could be rather than what is.

Love, Bears

Watching Your Back

FROM BEARS (Barry Neil Kaufman): Friendships & Showing Up: Someone misrepresented a friend with a negative and inaccurate comment. Since my friend was absent, I stood up and give clear, supportive and accurate comments about my friend.

We sometimes call this "watching your back." Another person said that impulse is from fear. Actually, for me, it was/is an honor. Silence would be a form of agreement. Let's all stand up for those we love!

Love, Bears

Integrity

FROM BEARS (Barry Neil Kaufman): A quote recently recounted in the New York Times: Warren Buffet - "When you hire someone, you look for brains, energy and integrity, and if they don't have the third, integrity, you better watch out, because the first two will (or can) kill you."

A bit over the top but the point is useful. Always ask for accountability with excellence. And always deliver it. Being your best is a form of self-appreciation.

Love, Bears

Who am I?

Great question!

I am a woman, mother, teacher and friend...the list goes on. I pride myself most though in being a student. I am enrolled in the School of Life. I've been enrolled for four decades now. I've had "on the job training" in various courses including Childhood, Teenage Transition, Relationships, Parenting, Residential Management, Nutrition, Psychology and more.

I am currently mastering in Self-Studentship. I am using my experiences in the School of Life as an opportunity to gain deeper insight about myself. I am learning to understand why I choose feelings such as happiness, sadness, anger, etc. I am discovering new horizons as I find that my limits are self imposed, and that I can reach higher. I can achieve more. One of my most powerful tools in learning about myself is The Option Process® Dialogue.

I am excited to use The Option Institute Blog as a forum to share my journey with you, and to give you an opportunity to share yours as well. After all, I believe "a wise person is one who learns from every person".

Feel free to ask questions, share experiences, or perhaps post a comment below, sharing your answer to the question "Who are you?"

Wishing you joy and blessings,
Pessy

Good Fortune: An Attitude, Not an Event

FROM BEARS (Barry Neil Kaufman): Yesterday, at the post office, it's raining and cold in the Berkshires. At the window, the post mistress mentions it's "bad" day. I smile, saying: "I'm having a great day...Actually, to be more precise, I am choosing to have a great day." She says she loves that idea. I say: "Good fortune is an attitude, not an event." We talk for about another minute and she asks for an Option Institute catalog.

Love, Bears

Love Relationships: Happy Negotiations

From Bears (Option Institute Co-Founder): Two of the most important principles we teach about Happy Negotiation in our Couple Course Program could seem so simple and so obvious at first glance, yet they hold the promise of taking our relationships to the next level. Yes, yes...you'd think negotiations is about getting what you want...but there is much more at stake.

Often, in our love relationships, there is much that we want (much that we hoped for) as well as, hopefully, aspects that we currently might hold in high regard and embrace with gratitude. We can experience the push/pull...we're not always on the same page with the same priorities. "Well, I really like how my partner is strong and reliable but he doesn't share what's inside or show his emotions". Or, "I adore my partner but she is often demanding and always seems to want more attention than I am currently giving." Or, too quick to anger, too quick to dismiss my point of view. Or, wanting too much sex or not wanting it enough of the time. You can just input your situation into those sentences. What we have is the uniqueness of individuals who share a common world (by choice) and then realize they'd like to change the "other" person...either in small doses or profoundly. Does that mean we are judgmental or non-accepting of the other person? Only if we judge (they're bad or wrong or...." But if we, for the moment, suspend determining notions of right and wrong...and rather realize that different folks have different wants and perspectives...then the next step is deciding to simply and directly going for what we want (judging the other person won't enhance our position or impact the conclusion in our direction -- actually, it would probably erode and distract us from sharing and asking and getting what we want. Two simple concepts (out of the 8 that we teach as part of the Principles of Happy Negotiation) that you can begin utilizing right now -- and these will profoundly improve the quality of your interactions.
1) Prioritize being loving and playful. Often, when we are asking for something important or "negotiatiing," we make it "serious" business because we're often concerned about not getting what we want rather than focusing on the essential nature of our relationship. Actually, the essential nature of our relationship is TO LOVE. When we choose to focus on loving someone, we fill ourselves with love -- actually, sustainable love doesn't happen when others love us, sustainable love is when we DO the loving. Short and simple. Before any negotiation, decide to slip into the intention and delivery of loving your partner...that's why you are with them in the first place.
2) Eliminate unhappy forms of motivation. Dump them all: complaining, whining, guilt, anger, ultimatums and victim-mentality. Impossible, you might be thinking. If you start with #1 above, this one will be easier maintain. You see if you're there ONLY to get what you want, then you missing invoking LOVE. However, if you remember that all relationships are journeys and the most important aspect of any journey is what you do along with way...ah, then love vs. accusation, love vs. complaining, love vs. anger -- becomes more sensible and doable. I always say: WHAT YOU FOCUS ON, GROWS BIGGER.
3) Yes, I know I said I would present two principles...but I want to throw in a third. Be specific in exactly what you want and why you want it. Imagine there are no entitlements in relationships. You don't get what you want because you're breathing. You don't get what you want because the other person is supposed to magically read your mind. You raise the possibility of getting what you want because you ask and you give enough details so the other person understands. "Be nice to me." Too vague. "Show up more fully." What does that mean? Specifics: I want to spent 30 minutes every evening just reserved for you and me to talk/share/plan/cuddle. Ah, now we know what you want. Specifics: I want to have one day, every other weekend, for each of us to do our thing: golf, shopping, tennis, museum visits, lunch with the "boys" or the "girls," whatever -- you get to do fully what you want and I get to do fully what I want. Wow, very specific. Or, we get to switch...I stay with the children the day you do your thing and then you stay with them when I do my thing.
Implement the above today/tonight with your significant partner and you'll be on your way. If you want or can, also joining us for our Couples Course Program starting Oct. 5, or, at the very least, consider the 3 CD series that includes Happy Negotiations among other tools from the program. Samahria and I take the major teaching role in this program...let us teach you what we've learned using the Option Process in nurturing and expanding an ever-growing relationship between us. Relationships present us with some of our greatest opportunities to make love and acceptance (self-love and love other other person) huge/huge trans-formative experiences in our lives. No matter what happened in the past, today is a new day...and all we have is this moment (this day)
Love, Bears (Option Institute Co-Founder)

Turned My Life Around in 72 Hours

Dear Ellen:

God love you, because I do, big time. Whenever I read one of your posts on our Facebook walls, the energy, enthusiasm and love just jumps out from your words. But what I particularly note is how truly smart and helpful your comments are...like "I am writing Adam right now." Often, your notations highlight a program or a process or even give guidance. Terrific.

Love and appreciation, Bears

PS: Hey, would you want to join our bloggers on either/or/and OI and ATCA sites. These blogs now stream onto the OI and ATCA Facebook Fan pages so it gets to many more folks (1000 plus at OI, 1500 plus at ATCA). And your posts on my page, goes to over 1500. We want to recruit bloggers who are smart, savvy, fun, sincere, loving and have something to say...and who would do their best to post at least once a week...maybe twice if possible. Let me know what you think? Again, big love and gratitude

---

Oh Bears!

Thanks so much! It is one of my greatest pleasures to be helpful to The Option Institute. Everyone there helped sooo much in getting me to The Son-Rise Program^® Start up (2 weeks ago I believe) for Emma... it was so perfect, a week of coming to terms with her issues in an honest way (that was a long time coming, huh (big smile)? And learning with totally clarity of purpose how tangibly I could help her. I came home and within 72 hrs had a temporary play room done, $600.00 in donations toward the real focus room, poster designed and at the printer.. when I know what I want.... had done 6 hrs of heavenly playroom time with my daughter, and had spectacular results--- stooling on the toilet for the first time! These are great things for us. I would love to help others to know that this program can help kids like mine, ones that would fall through the cracks, that aren't diagnosable (is that a word?!) but still have real issues that get in their way.. it's such a great program for our whole family.

When you walked into the classroom Thursday of that week, tears of joy streamed down my face.. yes, indeed, I was glad to see you, but also in that moment, I really realized that I had found a way (that was there all the time) to let my beloved Option Institute help Emma, my most precious gift.

I would adore blogging for you ... I will keep it in mind as I embark on this journey with The Son-Rise Program and Emma. I want to focus right now on getting my Son-Rise Program up and running, my business bringing in money, and being of assistance to Chris who has had a tremendous opportunity given to him ... his employer of 20 years berated him, stripped him of all is responsibilities and cut his pay 20%. The great news is that because of all his work at The Institute, in the middle of this he almost had to keep himself from laughing.... realizing it was truly all about them. What a gift. Anyway, how about if I just send you ( or whoever I should send it to) anything I write that's relevant, and you can use it or not as you see fit . I can't promise I will make time, but if I do, I will send on something. I hope this helps. I love all of you so much.. as usual please feel free to send a copy of this to anyone there etc. Deep, deep oceans of gratitude.

Love, Ellen

Indecision = Disempowerment = Staying Stuck

Someone asked me to write a blog about indecision. What happens when you can't make up your mind about something? Stuck is what happens. But how do we get there in the first place? I thnk it's because we have a lack of clarity about what we want. Undecided about taking that job, quitting a job, buyng a home, selling a home, getting engaged, breaking it off....it's because we often don't seem to know what we want. And we spend a lot of time thinking about what we don't want.

So that's a really important question to ask ourselves. What do I want? That's why I wrote about this in my last blog. You need that clarity to empower yourself to move, else you can spend an awful lot of time spinning your wheels and going nowhere. When you know what you want then you can set an Intention and next take Action.

And remember, don't think, "Hey what don't I want? What do I have to be afraid of?"
That might help you make a decision, but a decision to run away from something, and disempower yourself.
Instead, "What exactly do I want?" Empowerment.

Get clear, then get going and get groovy.
Clyde

There is No Past!

The following is an exchange that recently took place on my Facebook page (find me by searching for "Bears Barry Neil Kaufman"). Please read and enjoy!

Today's Thought: There is no past! Yes, there are historical events and memories -- but whenever we focus on them, they exist in the present. Thus, we are always in the present when we think about the past. What does this mean? If we're in the present, we can then think differently about our past and thinking differently can totally change its impact on us...if the past is present, we can fix it much easier.

Also, we can never be stuck in the past...we're "sticking ourselves" in the present to think about the past. If it's all happening now, then it's much easier to change -- recast and re-frame. All unhappiness is about regrets regarding the past or worries to the future. Happiness happens now, in this moment. We can keep changing our past and its meaning by choosing to reframe it right now...right now.

Love, Bears

So many thoughtful comments were posted in response to my message and I'd like to share some of my favorite with you:

Pessy wrote:
"Yes! Right now! Happiness can happen in a blink of an eye...if we so choose."

Sherri wrote:
"I really like this!"

Melinda wrote:
"Does this mean we should take Start-Up over and over again? I really liked Start up! Kidding...love it Bears!"

Dolores wrote:
"Living in the present is the best place to be. We are the sum total of our thoughts for as a man thinketh so is he. An old Hebrew Proverb."

Dolores wrote:
"And I would say that that is a truth we can all live by. ;)"

Terryann wrote:
"What are we? This very moment..thanks again..Bears..always willing to grasp the joy of this very present gift..us."

Cyn wrote:
"My therapist once told me 'It doesn't matter what occurred to you as a child. There is NOTHING you can do today, that will change 29 years ago.' I emphatically and officially am a fan of yours. PS: My husband and I are hoping to see you in October. Much love."

Karen wrote:
"I would like to share a poem written by my sister, Leah. I have had it in my head for 23 years and never have forgotten it...

Goodbye yesterday.
Hello Tomorrow.
What of today? What of now?
It will soon be yesterday....
And yesterday tomorrow.
Do we ever see yesterday?
Do we ever reach tomorrow?
Or have we crossed nonexistent bridges?
Is time an illusion?
Simply a scientist's conclusion.
Yesterday is memories.
Tomorrow are dreams.
Memories perish.
Dreams may never come true.
What of it?
I will wait and worry...Tomorrow."

Kate wrote:
"Hmmm, I like this, a lot. A friend reminded me recently that there is nothing we could come to know about ourselves that is 'bad' for us...and everything in my past has brought me to exactly where I am.. I love where I am. I have reframed with my 'rose tinted' glasses so many events from my past that I could choose to be a victim of in my present.. works for me!!"

Ania wrote:
"yeah! sometimes during the dialogue I feel like I am jumping in to my time travel machine where I am changing my past! Ahahhaha"

Joyce wrote:
"I love you, Bears. a few weeks ago I decided that the New York Marathon would be my line where I would no longer use my past to determine my present. - But that was a few weeks ago - right now I decide that today the past is just the past. It is all just things that happened. The only meaning the past makes - it's whatever I make of it right now! Thanks for reminding me."

Rekha wrote:
"I love that Bears. I raised my voice at the children at breakfast, this morning soon after whilst getting changed my 5year old daughter (Serena), came to me and asked me 'Mummy you shouted earlier, how come your not upset anymore?'...she is great with questions, my personal mentor! I replied 'I just decided not to be'. I realised even my kids ... are noticing how I am letting go, letting go and letting go! Something I couldn't do a couple of years ago when I needed justification and someone to blame! Thank you for showing me another way of loving myself. yours gratefully. Rekha .x"

Sherri wrote:
"I'm thinking, the past doesn't define who we are... At this moment, right now, this is who we are! So, seize the moment, capture the beauty and happiness in each breathe, in each step, and in each fraction of a second. I am ready to live my life free of the past!"

Karin wrote:
"Dear Bears.I just realized the choices i make, i make today. even if it is thinking of yesterday.or planing for tomorrow. And i am so happy that i am free to choose what ever i want."

Larry wrote:
"Yep, for sure. There is no past. There is only the present. We choose to focus ourselves on 'seeing' value, and experiencing it, and all our reminiscences and potential future presents, from our chosen perspective of was there value, worth, to whatever......or not.....and experience our present accordingly.....Thanks for reminding us of this Bears."

To submit your own comment just click the button below that says "comments".

Finding A Purpose? Living On Purpose!

(Important: First, We Need To Stop Looking For A Purpose)

When I was younger, my companions and I were always excited to identify ourselves as "seekers," always in search of answers. Decades later, from time to time, I encounter one of the travelers on the road from years ago. Proudly, they are still seeking and searching. Ironically, I took a very different path when I started to explore, understand and change my beliefs with the Option Process. I changed the mantra from "I seek," to "I find." I realized that what we masquerade as discovery is actually creation. We don't find or discover our purpose; we actually create it. When we have a sudden burst of insight or a clear intention to walk a certain path; it's the result of a conclusion we make either in an instant or over time. It's not what we find under the rock that makes the difference; it's what we think about what we find under the rock and what we do with what we find under the rock that makes the difference. Thus, our creativity (our new conclusion, our originating thoughts and reflections) underlies all discovery.

So we can relax. Deciding our life's purpose, giving our life direction and taking action is all something we choose. Even if we see a lovely photograph and decide to be a photographer or see a child facing famine and decide to volunteer for a humanitarian organization; it's not what we saw that made the difference, it's what we decided to do about what we saw.

I'm pumped! At the Option Institute, we teach that it's all in our hands -- and that's not bad new but good news. Because, whatever we're doing, we can either keep doing or decide to change the course of our internal/external river. Ah, then anything is possible -- for you, for me, for the planet.

Love, Bears