Extraordinary Man Program: All of us together for days, so much warmth, so much deep sharing, so much expressed authenticity and tenderness. A brother tells his brother during the program that he loves him for the first time in 60 years. A 18 yr.old hugs another man for the first time. A father and son talk about disappointment and anger in their relationship. Men moving toward each other. With open hearts.
During the morning session one time, a man in the group said that if men came together like we are all coming together here at the Option Institute this week, there would be no more war. We looked at man-brands: Strong Man brand, Stoic... Man brand, My Way or The Highway Man brand, Scared Man brand, Answer Man brand. Toward the end, one person said they were ready to change their Man brand (that was one of the purposes of the class) from Tough Man brand to Loving and Understanding Man brand. How awesome.
Love, Bears
Comments:
Gina P. N. - Bears: a man who was born to change people lives
Option Institute: place to learn how to open your eyes =)
Tara M. - I am LOVIN that you guys have a program for men! I hope to send both my sons one day, after we take the Happiness weekend together first :D<
Nicole M. S. - As a wife of one of the extraordinary men coming together in this program, I am just filled with gratitude for you and everyone at The Option Institute! Much love and hugs to you all!!!!!!!!
Judy M. - It sounds absolutely wonderful! Much love to all of you!
Nicole M. S. - PS. Thank you for giving us a peak into the exploration that is happening this week!
Nancy B. H. - give my sweet chad a hug from
Christopher . - What an awesome program! I was one of the Extraordinary Men last year, and always will be. There is nothing more manly than this. Thank you Bears,
Alison S. T. - I wanted to be a fly on the wall in the
I love the fact that there is always someone I know and love at Option now taking a program - building a community to make a better world.See More.
David N. - I wish I could have stayed on an extra week to do this as well. I will definitely be there at some point though.
Rekha N. - I am with you Alison, wouldn't it be fab to see. Can't wait to see my new brother on Saturday! Thanks Bears.xxx
Gail B. F. - Bears I am so thankful for the Option Institute. What I have learned there has totally transformed my life in so many crucial ways. I can truly say that I have a happy life and wonderful marriage. That in itself is priceless. I am so wanting Jim to do Extraordinary Man next year! Love to you and Samarhia.
Kim W. - Rekha, your new brother is extraordinary! It was so fun to meet him and share a mini-dialog with him.
Showing posts with label Extraordinary Man. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Extraordinary Man. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
From Bears: Loving and Understand man
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Competition
FROM DAVID:
Not knowing palmistry, I'm going to make this up: on my right hand there's a "competition line". Being competitive was one of my core attributes before being introduced to the Son-Rise Program and delving into The Option Process®. In my teens, I was devastated when I lost a prestigious national violin competition. I felt like a big loser. It got back to me later that one of the judges scored me highest. That judge instantly became, to my mind, the most knowledgeable musician on the panel. In the decades since, I have owned through self-reflection that I simply didn't prepare well for the competition, the winners were equally talented, and there weren't "stupid judges", despite what I said to my friends.
The kicker about competition is that it's all make-believe like everything else. We may perceive that something, like a race, is about winning and losing. But is winning and losing what anything is really about?? Are we, in the spirit of competition, blowing things up to life-and-death proportions?
What IS competition? How does it serve us? Competition often seems to be a way of motivating ourselves with unhappiness if we're focused on not losing. On the other hand, if what we want is to win something, then we're going for what we want, which is another way of saying we're being useful to ourselves, and that's cool. Is competition a frame of reference in which the outcome is judged, good or bad, victory or defeat? How about taking a more expansive view?
What if we didn't freak out over losing? By that token, what if we didn't "need" to win? What if we saw the finish line as the beginning line, where we begin anew with whatever comes after?
I started considering the place of competition in how I "roll" when I realized that I wasn't feeling competitive anymore in major areas of my life: in my career and with myself. Starting with the latter, I tell myself all the time that I'm doing the best I can and I believe it. What an awesome help that is! To not judge myself because I trust myself. In the workplace, I adopted the belief that there WAS room for me and I didn't have to fight anyone to make a place for myself or keep my place secure. Not that I started slacking off in my work or stopped improving my skills. Actually, after the Extraordinary Man program at The Option Institute, I dropped my fear of losing my job. I learned that I am adaptable, skilled, a capable problem solver, and developed confidence in my ability to make it in this world.
Back to my "competition line", I wonder if that line is coming to an end. Lately, even after being introduced to the Wii, the two-headed competition monster hasn't surfaced. I love playing table tennis with my wife without getting in "needing to win" mode. I want to win, sure. But without attaching losing to my identity, I feel that I've won just having played the game.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
The Expanding Extraordinary Man
From David:
Cars, shops, restaurants, planes, office cubicles, rooms in our homes, almost anywhere in NYC... Modern life could be caricatured as a constant scurrying from one to another of these area-challenged spots.
At the Option Institute's Extraordinary Man program two weeks ago, I hiked up the mountain behind the Mountain House and felt a thrill as I gazed out at the vista - fog like whipped cream in the valleys and clear blue sky arched over me from the mountains in the distance. The expanse. Ahhhhhhhhh. Just looking at it made me giddy. "I want this!", I told myself.
"We see the world the way we are", says Bears. Before Extraordinary Man, my time in our Son-Rise Program playroom with my son, Eidan, had felt... can you guess? Yep, a bit area-challenged and as if I was scurrying around incessantly. It's awesome what a perfect mirror being in the playroom is! The thing to change was not my environment, but me. I was rushing everything, pushing out against a sense of being constricted within.
As I walked down the mountain that morning, the question to myself was, "How can I feel that sense of expanse that I want in my life?" And my answer was, "Start feeling the expanse from within, rather than continuing to run into walls, spin my wheels, and burn out." With that, a door opened - out walked Self-Limiting Man and in walked The Expanding Man.
I realize now that I had been shutting down my "deeper" wants, my naturally flowing self, because my intention was to do what I believed I was supposed to do, not what I wanted to do. In fact, part of what I was supposed to do was NOT do what I wanted to do. Flipping that to prioritize personal growth and loving myself, I am more useful to myself. Now, rather than being nearly exclusively focused on my beloved sons, my amazing wife, clients, coworkers, friends, housework, finances, and the checkout person at the grocery store, I have also been asking myself questions like "What do I want right now?" and "What do I think would happen if I went with that want?" My learning: being useful to myself ROCKS. I'm still getting things done, doing more of what I want, and living bigger and bigger!
Cars, shops, restaurants, planes, office cubicles, rooms in our homes, almost anywhere in NYC... Modern life could be caricatured as a constant scurrying from one to another of these area-challenged spots.
At the Option Institute's Extraordinary Man program two weeks ago, I hiked up the mountain behind the Mountain House and felt a thrill as I gazed out at the vista - fog like whipped cream in the valleys and clear blue sky arched over me from the mountains in the distance. The expanse. Ahhhhhhhhh. Just looking at it made me giddy. "I want this!", I told myself.
"We see the world the way we are", says Bears. Before Extraordinary Man, my time in our Son-Rise Program playroom with my son, Eidan, had felt... can you guess? Yep, a bit area-challenged and as if I was scurrying around incessantly. It's awesome what a perfect mirror being in the playroom is! The thing to change was not my environment, but me. I was rushing everything, pushing out against a sense of being constricted within.
As I walked down the mountain that morning, the question to myself was, "How can I feel that sense of expanse that I want in my life?" And my answer was, "Start feeling the expanse from within, rather than continuing to run into walls, spin my wheels, and burn out." With that, a door opened - out walked Self-Limiting Man and in walked The Expanding Man.
I realize now that I had been shutting down my "deeper" wants, my naturally flowing self, because my intention was to do what I believed I was supposed to do, not what I wanted to do. In fact, part of what I was supposed to do was NOT do what I wanted to do. Flipping that to prioritize personal growth and loving myself, I am more useful to myself. Now, rather than being nearly exclusively focused on my beloved sons, my amazing wife, clients, coworkers, friends, housework, finances, and the checkout person at the grocery store, I have also been asking myself questions like "What do I want right now?" and "What do I think would happen if I went with that want?" My learning: being useful to myself ROCKS. I'm still getting things done, doing more of what I want, and living bigger and bigger!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
The Dreamer / The Talker / The Doer
FROM BEARS: Everyone grabbed a sign and displayed it on their chests during our morning Extraordinary Man class. Each sign represented their main MAN-BRAND that signified how each man in the room has previously (previous to this program) showed up in their lives. THE FAKER. THE FIXER. THE WIMP. STEADFAST. THE WOMANIZER. THE LOVER. THE CONTROLLER. THE PEACEMAKER. THE PEOPLE-PLEASER. THE CONFUSED ONE. INDECISIVE. THE TEACHER. THE WOBBLER. THE PACK MULE. SENSITIVE ONE.
The purpose of our man-brands -- to identify, then claim ownership and then seek to understand why we choose these positions and posturing as men. Not so much only as men, but as people -- with a specific gender-orientation. Be strong (at least appear strong). Don't show emotion. Anger is okay but not fear (though we're often fearful). We want to love but showing loving gestures could be a sign of weakness. We want to be gentle and tender but we've had little or no guidance or training on how to do this.
We are where we are...the sum total of all the man-beliefs we've learned and then empowered. But we come to understand we can change our beliefs...and thus change our man-brands. We can put aside the fixer and the faker, the controller and the peacemaker and ask ourselves (as we did and will continue to do all week) -- how do we want to be a man going forward?.
Each of us looks inside (no longer looking outside for the answers or approval). It's not about being our father's version of men...or some societal or tribal should. It's about me being me...you being you. It's about new options and new choices and new beliefs. It peeling away the onion of masculinity and getting to the core of what we yearn to be and experience. And then creating (or re-creating) ourselves. We're on our way -- because we're tossing what doesn't work for us and replacing limiting beliefs and visions with new core value and priorities.
One man had the sign this morning -- The Dreamer. Some of us thought that was inspiring. Later I suggested: "It is not the talker or the dreamer who makes a difference in their own lives and in the world; it is the one who goes out and does their talk and does their dream. It's not about the chatter; it's about the doing. We will be known and remembered not so much for what we said but for what we did."
And old Chinese proverb: The people who say it can't be done should get out of the way of the people who are doing it. Change is possible. Radical change is possible -- now. First you have to want it, then believe it's possible, then begin doing it...one step at a time. For almost 28 years, thousands of people have taken such steps at the Option Institute. What a blessing!!!
Love, Bears
The purpose of our man-brands -- to identify, then claim ownership and then seek to understand why we choose these positions and posturing as men. Not so much only as men, but as people -- with a specific gender-orientation. Be strong (at least appear strong). Don't show emotion. Anger is okay but not fear (though we're often fearful). We want to love but showing loving gestures could be a sign of weakness. We want to be gentle and tender but we've had little or no guidance or training on how to do this.
We are where we are...the sum total of all the man-beliefs we've learned and then empowered. But we come to understand we can change our beliefs...and thus change our man-brands. We can put aside the fixer and the faker, the controller and the peacemaker and ask ourselves (as we did and will continue to do all week) -- how do we want to be a man going forward?.
Each of us looks inside (no longer looking outside for the answers or approval). It's not about being our father's version of men...or some societal or tribal should. It's about me being me...you being you. It's about new options and new choices and new beliefs. It peeling away the onion of masculinity and getting to the core of what we yearn to be and experience. And then creating (or re-creating) ourselves. We're on our way -- because we're tossing what doesn't work for us and replacing limiting beliefs and visions with new core value and priorities.
One man had the sign this morning -- The Dreamer. Some of us thought that was inspiring. Later I suggested: "It is not the talker or the dreamer who makes a difference in their own lives and in the world; it is the one who goes out and does their talk and does their dream. It's not about the chatter; it's about the doing. We will be known and remembered not so much for what we said but for what we did."
And old Chinese proverb: The people who say it can't be done should get out of the way of the people who are doing it. Change is possible. Radical change is possible -- now. First you have to want it, then believe it's possible, then begin doing it...one step at a time. For almost 28 years, thousands of people have taken such steps at the Option Institute. What a blessing!!!
Love, Bears
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Changing How We Live In The World
FROM BEARS (Option Institute Co-Founder)-- Extraordinary Man/ Empowering Yourself -- Chad reaches out. I reach back. Here we go!
Bears,
From the core of my being, thank you for what you represent in the universe and the impact it has had on my family (global and nuclear) and I.
I had an extraordinary experience this past week, which is still continuing. Through absorbing the experience and principles of the attitude and the process, I have reached a significantly deeper place of authenticity, awareness, and empowerment. It is quite phenomenal how meta-physical my reality is, and the sensation of embracing that in the face of societal norms and popular belief is exquisite.
Although I still have fear and anger to explore, I look forward to walking towards it and creating new possibilities.
I look forward to our continued connection and communication.
Love,
Chad
Bears Barry Neil Kaufman
9:51pm
Dear Chad: What a joy to have you back at the Institute -- your sense of self-studentship and your love of learning was quite a wonder to behold. I am so, so excited that the week had been so extraordinary and useful to use -- hurrah!!! I also appreciate your sweet and gracious words. Next time...don't wait so long until you return. Love, Bears
PS: Just a note, as a way to share what we do and how it impacts others, if you could (if you want) post what you wrote to me on my wall, others can read it -- just somewhere in the post include the name of the EM program at the Option Institute, etc. Again, thanks...yes, we are and will stay connected.
Chad
10:41am
Good Morning Bears,
Thank you for your message and kind words. In further testament of my love for the Institute, I would like to share a quick story with you. Since the time I spent in the extraordinary man program, I have been so keenly aware of my own thought process and my ability to chose my thoughts. Therefore, over the past several days, I have been witness to the universe manifesting my wants and desires in ways that are truly magnificent and beyond all popular explanation. For example, as a result of the Summit Club meeting, I set the intention to participate in the Empowering Yourself program this November. Initially, I had some fear around this want because I did not have the money to put down a deposit. However, through being aware of my fear, owning it, and then choosing to believe in the benevolence of the universe, I let go of the fear and remained in a space of gratitude and excitement. Saturday evening, I was managing an event in DC, a Rooftop Caribbean Party with a Live Band, where we had pre-sold 200 tickets and were expecting a good crowd. Very unexpectedly, a rare event occurred. An additional 60 people showed up who had not pre-registered and paid cash at the door. My percent of the money ended up being exactly what I needed for my deposit that I had promised to have for Zoe by Monday. By opening up the channels for the Universe to provide, it did just that. This is just one of several examples that have occurred in the past several days, and as I continue to engage in self student ship and intentional choice, I have ahhh haaa moment after ahhh haaa moment and the universe quickly follows though with manifestation. This attitude and process are so powerful. Thank you for being my mentor!!!
Love,
Chad
Bears Barry Neil Kaufman
8:17pm
Chad: This is the best...for you, for a trusting the universe (no matter what's presented) and for believing in yourself. Your communications about what you learned in the Extraordinary Man program and your commitment to make it happen so you can attend the Empower Yourself Program (which you will love and will help you take yourself to the next level) takes my breath away. Ten cheers. Ten thousand cheers. As I know you said it was okay previous, I will share this with others as well. I am holding a warm seat for you come Nov. 2nd. when the Empower Yourself program starts.
Love and gratitude, Bears
Bears,
From the core of my being, thank you for what you represent in the universe and the impact it has had on my family (global and nuclear) and I.
I had an extraordinary experience this past week, which is still continuing. Through absorbing the experience and principles of the attitude and the process, I have reached a significantly deeper place of authenticity, awareness, and empowerment. It is quite phenomenal how meta-physical my reality is, and the sensation of embracing that in the face of societal norms and popular belief is exquisite.
Although I still have fear and anger to explore, I look forward to walking towards it and creating new possibilities.
I look forward to our continued connection and communication.
Love,
Chad
Bears Barry Neil Kaufman
9:51pm
Dear Chad: What a joy to have you back at the Institute -- your sense of self-studentship and your love of learning was quite a wonder to behold. I am so, so excited that the week had been so extraordinary and useful to use -- hurrah!!! I also appreciate your sweet and gracious words. Next time...don't wait so long until you return. Love, Bears
PS: Just a note, as a way to share what we do and how it impacts others, if you could (if you want) post what you wrote to me on my wall, others can read it -- just somewhere in the post include the name of the EM program at the Option Institute, etc. Again, thanks...yes, we are and will stay connected.
Chad
10:41am
Good Morning Bears,
Thank you for your message and kind words. In further testament of my love for the Institute, I would like to share a quick story with you. Since the time I spent in the extraordinary man program, I have been so keenly aware of my own thought process and my ability to chose my thoughts. Therefore, over the past several days, I have been witness to the universe manifesting my wants and desires in ways that are truly magnificent and beyond all popular explanation. For example, as a result of the Summit Club meeting, I set the intention to participate in the Empowering Yourself program this November. Initially, I had some fear around this want because I did not have the money to put down a deposit. However, through being aware of my fear, owning it, and then choosing to believe in the benevolence of the universe, I let go of the fear and remained in a space of gratitude and excitement. Saturday evening, I was managing an event in DC, a Rooftop Caribbean Party with a Live Band, where we had pre-sold 200 tickets and were expecting a good crowd. Very unexpectedly, a rare event occurred. An additional 60 people showed up who had not pre-registered and paid cash at the door. My percent of the money ended up being exactly what I needed for my deposit that I had promised to have for Zoe by Monday. By opening up the channels for the Universe to provide, it did just that. This is just one of several examples that have occurred in the past several days, and as I continue to engage in self student ship and intentional choice, I have ahhh haaa moment after ahhh haaa moment and the universe quickly follows though with manifestation. This attitude and process are so powerful. Thank you for being my mentor!!!
Love,
Chad
Bears Barry Neil Kaufman
8:17pm
Chad: This is the best...for you, for a trusting the universe (no matter what's presented) and for believing in yourself. Your communications about what you learned in the Extraordinary Man program and your commitment to make it happen so you can attend the Empower Yourself Program (which you will love and will help you take yourself to the next level) takes my breath away. Ten cheers. Ten thousand cheers. As I know you said it was okay previous, I will share this with others as well. I am holding a warm seat for you come Nov. 2nd. when the Empower Yourself program starts.
Love and gratitude, Bears
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