From Bears (Barry Neil Kaufman): Does it matter?

Breakfast Discussion: Does it matter? Does it matter that you achieve what you wanted to achieve, get recognition for your accomplishments and be approved of by others? Would it be sweet? Sure. Does it matter? Ah, that's up for grabs. What... I believe matters is how you did what you did. With love? With sincerity? With authenticity? With kindness? Applause comes from the outside, divinity is within.

More on “does it matter?” If you want recognition and applause, go to the mirror and give yourself a standing ovation. That you matter to you, that you approve of you, that you know your own caring and decency…ah, that’s the ballgame. And if you’re not quite ready to do that because you want to change parts of yourself…do it anyway as you work on yourself. Happiness and love as a choice right now is the path to happiness and love – not judgment or self-condemnation. Go ahead, check yourself out in the mirror, give yourself a big smile and lots of love.

Love, Bears

Comments:

Cynthia H. - Something about "who you become in the process".....

Penya S. - i'm working on this -- thanks for the reminder!

Tomohawk Paul M. - Hmm very provocative, I'm getting better at accepting that what I want to do is not for the entertainment or needed to be evaluated by others. It's my life!

Donna D. - So true!!! Thanks for the reminder.

Judith E.- I love this, Bears! Surely one of the keys to happiness is being totally true to oneself, congruent with what lies within, building on the strength that comes with absolute authenticity. I'm going to quote you too!

Alison S. T. - Hmmm applauding ourselves as opposed to looking for it or needing it from other people. For me it comes down to knowing my value as a person, do I decide that myself, or do I look to everyone around me to decide it. Working with the idea that I create the beliefs that fuel my responses means that essentially I define and decide my value by making it up. So if I look in the mirror and judge what I see then that's down to me - or if in my case I don't even own a mirror then that is my choice, changing that means finding out why I want to make it up that way rather than making it up in a way that is loving and nourishing of myself.
'Divinity is within' how cool to think that there is something within us that is an image of God, reminds me of the poem by Hafiz 'now is the time to know that everything you do is sacred' So if we were to give ourselves the standing ovation in the mirror we would be celebrating ourselves and our walk with God. Thanks for this thought.

Tim S.- The Kingdom of heaven is within you

Isabel R. - thank u a lot for the remind of how sincere we have to be with ourselve......

Ellen Y. S. - Thank you Bears, that ws helpful to read this morning. Divinity is within.

Christine C. M. - I love it. Internally I think we all know it. It's like the saying that "your character is revealed when you do things when know one is watching" This was really good to read this morning

Emanoele F. - i think , when i do with love, i am more happy, the approve of my family always was important for me, and make me change many things in myself, but be yourself no matter in front or behind it´s the right way to live.

Rekha Neilson - Wow, it is full on at breakfast at your Bears! We did come up with a great story at tea time though. Serena asked me to improvise a story so I came up with Tommy the tantruming tomato went to calm land.

It was fab, we had two endings one where he relaxed into calm land and realised the tantruming wasn't something the people of calm land understood. The second was he exploded in the post office, everyone in calm land went home happy and had tomato soup! Can you give Dave a huge hug from me I really miss him. Love, Rekha.x

From Bears: Foundational Principle #2

Foundational Principle #2, Option Process (what we teach at Option Institute). YOU HAVE YOUR OWN ANSWERS. We often look to experts, institutions, media and the people around us for our answers. Certainly, others can contribute their thoughts and suggestions. However, we teach people that they are, in the end, their own best experts on themselves and they can access their own answers/insights/wisdom

Imagine if each of us decided that our moms and dads and partners and teachers and counselors and friends have the best of intention in their guidance for us. But also imagine that they do not live in our skin or walk in our shoes. We are decidedly alone with our internal experiences and internal landscape (that’s not bad news, but great news)because we are also the architects of that landscape. Imagine relaxing, creating more self-acceptance, more happiness – therefore more clarity and then deciding to ask ourselves (not anyone else)”what do I want to do?”, “How do I want to live my life– and with whom?” Love, Bears
For decades, I have taught and used PowerDialogues to ask nonjudgmental questions of myself and uncover (and change) core beliefs which allowed me to redirect my life and feel complete ownership and excitement for that life (as well has teach others to do the same). Imagine, at the end of your life, saying: “No Regrets” It’s within the reach of all of us.

Comments:

Renée A. - Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. ~Buddha

Larry B. - I muse at the idea of being in a supermarket of beliefs, there are notices in my store, reminding me of the 'store policy'....."if you buy it, it owns you" :)

Larry B. - "Choose to Choose"

Seliger R. - I love it :) Why oh why did it take so long to get that :))) It's nuts, it's soo logical finally we are starting to evolve Hallaleuka !! (intentionally put in a k rather than a 'y' in Judaism it is part of Gd's name) So cool we have all the answers.

Tammy M.- Very complex...yet extremely simple! Thank you!!!

Judy M. - I truly believe all the answers are within!

Dawnmarie G. T. - I agree... your gut always knows what you want, and what brings you relief... however what about when you really need a suggestion or two to problem solve (Like, how does a single individual get up & running 2 Son-Rise programs simultaneously)? By asking other people you might get a bunch of different ideas that you never had and then your gut can lead you towards choosing the one that makes the most sense for you. Right? (I'm still a novice at all this, by the way) hee hee

Toni L. T. - that's a hard one for me...i know deep down it's true, but i have a lot of self doubt! working on it though...optimal self-trust, power dialouges...listening to those cds.

Jeannie R. - Bears, THIS CONCEPT WAS SO KEY FOR ME IN HELPING MY CHILD MOVE FROM HAVING SEVERE PROBLEMS TO NOW BEING NEAR RECOVERY FROM AUTISM! Initially, I allowed myself to be overwhelmed and helpless and lost, relying on these "experts" and others sources to guide me, but not only did it not work, it actually make the situation worse. When I read your book, "Son-Rise: The Miracle Continues", I took on this concept of being my own expert for my child and it brought practically instant results, and I have followed it ever since with ongoing success. Trusting myself is something I am continuing to learn about more and more as I deepen my beliefs with Option principles, and it is amazing how it continues to bring wonder and expansiveness to my life all the time. With gratitude and joy, Jeannie.

Alison S. T. - If I have a challenge and I go to an expert to get it 'fixed' then the next time I have a challenge I still don't know how to fix it so I would have to go back again to that expert to get it fixed. In fact, before long I would become dependent on that expert to keep fixing me, believingmyself to be incapable of helping myself - not a great place to be. One of my great learnings this year has been about finding my own answers, the beauty of this has been that some of the answers that I have come up with have been things that nobody else could have known about me, these answers have been real jewels found amongst the dust and debris of my lifes challenges. Thse findings have led to me being able to make profound changes in my life.

Alison S. T. - In March this year, I went on the Optimal self trust program at the Option Institute. On this course I learned techniques that have helped to make my own inner voice louder and tools to help my listen to what that inner voice was saying. Once I got home, the program really started as I learned to use the things I had learned. One evening my 85 year old father in law rang our home in panic to say that he couldn't find his bank books and that he thought that some workmen he had had in his house had stolen them. I offered to go down to his house to help look for them. We searched everywhere in all the places that he thought they might be. After half an hour of looking he was propping himself up on the table hyperventilating. At this point I decided to use the listening options (which are neurosignatures that we created)that I had learned on the course. I tried the first and the third ones and got no new ideas.

Alison S.T. - Then I tried the second one which was about heart knowledge, and found myself thinking diferently. I looked again where they were supposed to be and realised that the workmen hadn't taken them because there was an unimportant folder left. So I knew they were in the house. So I thought that for my father in law the safest place in the house would be his bedroom, so I decided they were in there, then I thought where would be safest in the bed room and I decided that my mother in laws side of the wardrobe (even though she has been dead 4 years) would be the place. So I looked in there, and there they were. So from the time I started using these listening options to finding the bank books was about 3 minutes. I think it would have taken hours of searching to have found them otherwise.

Bears Barry Neil Kaufman - Allison: WOW. You really do use what you learn in the Option Institute programs to your advantage. Awesome and inspiring. Love, Bears

Susan G. - Bears, was this not also the point of Sheldon Kopp when he wrote "If You Meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him!…"?

Joan J. - i love you and all that you are, you and shamaria and all at the option. my life has transformed xxxxxxxxxxx

From Bears: Self-trust

The impossible become possible because someone dreams it so. Being realistic has to do with the past...confining ourselves to what someone did or didn't accomplish yesterday. That means nothing about today or tomorrow. One person's dismissed folly can be another person's determined reach for the stars. What's the difference? Self-Trust/Self-Reliance. Believe in what you want, not what is.

Chinese proverb: "People who say it can't be done shouldn't get in the way of the people doing it." More love, Bears

Comments:

Lejla S.-K. - thank you Bears, a new post it for my bathroom mirror :))))

Julie R. - i love these posts they keep me going xxxtake care x

Judy M. - I love what you say about believe in what you want and not what is! Believe in the vision and what is possible and by law of attraction so shall it be!

Kelli P. - One of my favourite quotes along these lines is: Never let anyone build your world for you, they always build it to small. (don't know who by, but have a great piece of art to remind me of it all the time). Hugs!

Sherri L. D. - I choose to BELIEVE! Thank you Bears for your words of inspiration and deep desire to help others. Gratitude and love to YOU and YOURS!!!

Lorna M. - At first, people thought that the Wright brothers were crazy! What use would an airplane be? Many folks decided that those "talkie" movies would never make it. Thomas Edison had two weeks of formal education, the rest was self taught. Albert Einstein, Helen Keller, Barack Obama, Samahria Kaufman...I can go on and on and on...they all accomplished what was considered impossible!

Susan G. - To dream the impossible dream....

Laura S. - just the reminder I needed, thank you!

Alison S.T. - Aren't dreams like having a guess in a dialogue, we take the pressure off ourselves needing to be 'right' and just imagine all the wonderful possibilities of what could be.....and so hope is born.

Barbara F. - "Believe in what you want, not what is." I so love that! That is so what you and Samahria did with Raun and by creating the Option Institute. I've been thinking about how when I want something, imagining the best case scenario and then ...using the energy, excitement and clarity to take every opportunity to make it happen, rather than envisioning failure at least part of the time, then splitting half of your reduced energy trying to take steps to avoid that scenario. This usually means putting off the undertaking or not doing it at all in the end, since many failure scenarios are not that controllable or able to be planned away. I don't approach all issues in my life this way (yet), but I'm working on getting to where I can allow more and more best-case-scenario thinking to dominate and earlier in the process. Thanks Bears and Samahria!

Rekha N. - This is such an amazing co-incidence, I was planning to do a visualization at the beginning of our team meeting tonight about just this.xxx

Bears Barry Neil Kaufman - Thank you all for your very thoughtful, insightful and appreciative comments. Samahria and I read them all together and so deeply appreciate how much we are holding hands with all of you and how much you are holding hands with us. Blessings and gratitude, Bears & Samahria

Obdulia A. - Is beautiful to hear that Samahria and you read all the comments. Samahria comes to my mind every time that I hear my 2 years old talking and saying "abiba that means arriba (Spanish, up, English) so I say "yes papito abiba, abiba!! and he smiles at me. She comes to my mind because in the DVD Autism Solutions she puts that example saying why we should join Autistic children as we join toddlers or babys when we talk to them because my toddler really enjoys when I said "abiba" I love you! I'm your fan!

From Bears: Ownership of choice

Reflections on Habits/Addictions: We call something an addiction when we disapprove of what we are doing (drinking, smoking, gaining weight). We call repetitive behavior a discipline when we approve of what we are doing (exercising, supporting our families, parenting our children). We consider disciplines a function of choice, while we see addictions or habitual actions something not in our control. Ah, mythology.

It's all about choice. If we choose to embrace what we call "addictions" or "habits" as choice then we give ourselves ownership and empowered our ability to change. Otherwise, we view ourselves as victims and not in charge of our behaviors. We're always in charge and that's not a bad thing but an opportunity for liberation. If I acknowledge "I choose" this or that repetitive behavior (each choice happens in the present), then I will more likely then see the way to taking responsibility to choose anew, to choose differently in the next moments. Repetitive choices ("habit") are no more powerful than any choice we make at any time. It's all make-belief so we get to make-believe we're always empowered to make new and different choices or we're always victims of our past and past choice. Life begins anew right now.

Love and smiles, Bears

Comments:

Alison S. T. - I think we can also complicate things further by believing that the habits/addictions serve a purpose for us, like eating or drinking too much as a way of dealing with unhappiness in our lives - 'drowning our sorrows' in my experience this doesn't work because sorrow knows how to swim. But in the short term we embrace the habit because we believe we are taking care of ourselves and then afterwards when we find it didn't help we then judge our actions as being bad and ourselves as weak. However by the very act of judging what we did we push it away meaning that we don't change. I have found that using an Option process dialogue really helps untangle this thinking, which gives us a way to take ownership of each part of this separately so that we can make new choices.

Hayley B. - I love this one, thank you.

Simone D. L. T. - "Sorrow can swim" is genius Alison!

Erin P.- So perfect, for me , in this moment, to share with others perfect...HOW Magical!

Judy M. - We create the conditions of our lives by what we think and believe. So if we are thinking that a behavior is out of control and call it an addition then we strenghten it and create more of it in our lives. If we turn that limiting belief around, we can open ourselves up to a new possibility, a new way, and a new behavior.

When I realized that my feelings were responses to my thoughts and beliefs and I was the one putting them in my head, I stopped overeating and out of control (addiction) emotional eating. I just changed the way I thought which changed the way I felt. I now have control over my eating, emotions, and life! Also as a bonus, I now eat like a naturally thin person and I have let go of 20 pounds easily and effortlessly.

Rekha N.- I have got this really great new habit, I keep texting, emailing and telling my loved ones how much I love them. Something I was almost ashamed to do before, but it feels so good! I love you Bears, thank you for changing my world by sharing your love. Please pass my love on to one of the most exceptional women I have ever met, your stunning wife Samharia.x

Bears Barry Neil Kaufman - To Rekha and all of you who posted about my notation on habits and addictions. So much thoughtful responses and exciting additions. Thank you for enriching my life and for enriching each other's life. Rekha - you have been a blessing. Check out Rekha's interview at www.option.org, see right hand column, click on live interviews and you'll see her sweet face. Love and optimism, Bears

Bears Barry Neil Kaufman - Dear Amazing Rekha: Did you know you are an "original!." A Force Of Nature" not only for your family but a daring, self-student of yourself. I watched your interview on the Option Institute website (www.option.org) with another participant two days ago...and the person said...she's (you) so inspiring and so honest and so self-revealing. On folks who find a strong and solid place inside can show up like that on the outside. No, neither you no I are the perfect versions of ourselves yet...but we keep growing. I am teaching the Empowering Yourself program this week...daring to go for what you want, no matter what the evidence. It's all about beliefs. Love, Bears

Rekha N. - Thank you for those comments sweet Bears. My Dad taught me at a very tender age to go for what I want and not to let anything stand in my way, he said "be like a world wind, don't let anything be an obstacle", I was just like that for many... years full of this energy but coupled it with anger and other emotions. In the last couple of years I have changed and I aspire to become a different force of nature perhaps a sunrising from the horizon, gentally lovingly spreading my warmth but still just as unstoppable! Thank you for showing me there is more than one way of being powerful. hugs and smiles, Rekha.x

Barry Neil Kaufman - Trust what you want

Today's Thought: We judge in order to make what we want or don't want more powerful. We call what we want "good" and what we don't want "bad." Unfortunately, what we call "bad," we often fear and then fill ourselves with distress and discomfort. Thus, our judgments cloud and limit our vision: acceptance and understanding creates peace and community. Let's start trusting what we want when we're happy.

Bears

Comments:

Larry F. - How timely, Bears. I was reading that very section of your book Power Dialogues today. Acceptance and understanding truly are the key to change. Thanks for your reminder.

Winden R.- Bears! What a perfectly timed post. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Much love.

Shaun K. - the words we arrange are held in place by our longing for one another.

Ellen Y. S.- Acceptance and understanding also creates more ideas..ways to create what you want. Yup, this one's a real gem. Top on my list right now of things to pay attention to in my thoughts.

Erin P. - a BREATH of fresh air!!!!!!!!! a mini IV transfusion of being back 'home'...thank you!

Alison S. T.- Wow!! how important is self trust!!!! If we lack it then we feel powerless to pursue our goal, which leads us to judge in order to feel more powerful which then leads to discomfort which actually undermines our ability to achieve the very thing we want. It's exactly the opposite of what we thought we were doing by judging. That's incredible and good to see.

Thanks for the clarity Bears.

Angela Z. - Like this very much, it's so what we discovered in Winde Awake and what still has to sink in with me. I sometimes see myself going to the distress, discomfort and cloudy side. But do recognize it now! The first step to change and change and change. Love to you all. - Acceptance and understanding also creates more ideas..ways to create what you want. Yup, this one's a real gem. Top on my list right now of things to pay attention to in my thoughts.

From Barry Neil Kaufman (Bears): Wobblers Vs. Doers

Why would we ever wobble? Be indecisive? Act confused?

All wobbling comes from fear -- to turn left or right, to say yes or no. Fear of not getting what we want, tripping, falling. Actually, the risky position is the not deciding and "not doing." When we fall, we can just get up. When we miss the mark, we can just do it again. Life can be a hesitant dance...or a daring adventure.

Love, Bears

Deborah G.
Thank you Bears. I had to give something up today, to do something else...my life.

Alison S. T.
I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure........only joking!!! For me, the fear is that by doing something I would make my situation worse, which of course is a judgment. But as you say, no decision is a decision, but often without clarity and therefore more risky than deciding what to do.
Deciding that the universe is benevolent is something that I have decided to learn to trust as there are then no wrong moves, and so step by step I can change the way I do things.

Penya S.
really great bears -- very inspiring, like you!

Don K.
No excuses, just more "daring" and more "adventure". Thanks. Love, DK.

Winden R.
I AM A WOBBLER! Holy cow. Boy am I ever! But.... I know when I am doing it, I know that somehow I am taking care of myself and I don't judge it anymore as bad. That's a start I suppose! Thank you for the reminder Bears. See you in November.

Tauska T.
Wibble, wobble, wobble, wome...time for this one to come home!
Thanx Bears!

Roberta R.
I'm for daring adventure! Love the "wobbling" metaphor. Thank you for your post Bears.

Catherine H.-P.
Wow! So this is a message I needed to here RIGHT NOW. Stand back fear...this wobbler is going to do something. Thanks again for shining a light!

Jyldyz W.
Bears, thank you! It feels like it's the first time I've actually not only understood what wobbling means but began to totally see how I've been doing it in my life...not all my life...but definitely the past few years and how this fear of ...making the wrong move kept me stuck. You are absolutely right! It is The RISKIEST POSITION of ALL! THANK YOU!
Winden, I'm SO joining your club:-) Although, unlike you, I've yet to learn Not to judge it as bad and to understand what is it that I'm actually trying to take care of by wobbling. Can we form a dialogue on this:-)

Corbie M.
Every single day of this course has brought so many WOWS! In only three days (so far) I have dispensed with fears that have followed me for years, and have owned for the very first time how much I believe in ME. Thank you, Bears!

Winden R.
Jyldyz! Hello sweet you! I have an idea! Sign up for Empowering Yourself in November. What a PERFECT program to de-wobble ourselves. I am already going. Can you!? I would LOVE to catch up.

April S.
I could give wabbler lessons. The reason why i do it is b/c going left or going right look equally good (or equally bad) to me. I'm waiting for something to tip the scale. BUT, the great part of it is that now I am MUCH more comfortable being in wabble mode. I.e. not judging it. Like, hey, cool, I have a choice to go left or right.

Neal E.
Life's "dramas and traumas" are created because of your own in-congruency of personal truth, emotional expression and daily actions... LIVE TO LIBERATE YOURSELF.... NOT TO PLEASE OTHERS! The fear of what you WILL LOSE by being true to yourself will NEVER out way the BENEFITS you'll gain from being in alignment with your HEART AND SOUL! ~ Bret Treadwell

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind! ~ Dr. Seuss

Be comfortable with who you are even if that changes by the minute. ~ Neal Elefant

Priya P.
tnx for the reminder:)

Gail B. F.
Bears, I am so much more confident at making decisions these days. Between coming to Fearless in the Spring and then following up with Optimal Self Trust this summer, I feel a whole new infrastructure with my decision making. I have minimized the whole process of self-questioning etc..to at least 1/2 of what I used to do. I feel much more in touch with who I am, what I want and most of all happy with the decisions that I make or have made instead of beating myself up about them. SIGH what a relief; a much more comfortable way to live. So much love and gratitude!

To Everyone: Thanks for enriching these sharings with your thoughts, self-reflection, authenticity and love. I am very blessed for all your kindness and caring. Love, Bears

Competition

FROM DAVID:

Not knowing palmistry, I'm going to make this up: on my right hand there's a "competition line". Being competitive was one of my core attributes before being introduced to the Son-Rise Program and delving into The Option Process®. In my teens, I was devastated when I lost a prestigious national violin competition. I felt like a big loser. It got back to me later that one of the judges scored me highest. That judge instantly became, to my mind, the most knowledgeable musician on the panel. In the decades since, I have owned through self-reflection that I simply didn't prepare well for the competition, the winners were equally talented, and there weren't "stupid judges", despite what I said to my friends.

The kicker about competition is that it's all make-believe like everything else. We may perceive that something, like a race, is about winning and losing. But is winning and losing what anything is really about?? Are we, in the spirit of competition, blowing things up to life-and-death proportions?

What IS competition? How does it serve us? Competition often seems to be a way of motivating ourselves with unhappiness if we're focused on not losing. On the other hand, if what we want is to win something, then we're going for what we want, which is another way of saying we're being useful to ourselves, and that's cool. Is competition a frame of reference in which the outcome is judged, good or bad, victory or defeat? How about taking a more expansive view?

What if we didn't freak out over losing? By that token, what if we didn't "need" to win? What if we saw the finish line as the beginning line, where we begin anew with whatever comes after?

I started considering the place of competition in how I "roll" when I realized that I wasn't feeling competitive anymore in major areas of my life: in my career and with myself. Starting with the latter, I tell myself all the time that I'm doing the best I can and I believe it. What an awesome help that is! To not judge myself because I trust myself. In the workplace, I adopted the belief that there WAS room for me and I didn't have to fight anyone to make a place for myself or keep my place secure. Not that I started slacking off in my work or stopped improving my skills. Actually, after the Extraordinary Man program at The Option Institute, I dropped my fear of losing my job. I learned that I am adaptable, skilled, a capable problem solver, and developed confidence in my ability to make it in this world.

Back to my "competition line", I wonder if that line is coming to an end. Lately, even after being introduced to the Wii, the two-headed competition monster hasn't surfaced. I love playing table tennis with my wife without getting in "needing to win" mode. I want to win, sure. But without attaching losing to my identity, I feel that I've won just having played the game.

Listen to What I Hear

FROM JAMIE: I wrote this blog on the Son-Rise blogs, but also wanted to share on the Option blog because after attending the Calm Amid Chaos course at the Option Institute I can clearly see what I learned - "Cause is in the Future," "Change is Continuous," and the "Universe is Benevolent."

This story begins in 1995. Tyler is 14 months old.

What they said:

"They" are 9 medical professionals from Neuropsychologist, Neuropsychiatirst, Medical Physician, and several Therapists. "Tyler is Severely Organic Brain Dysfunctioned. I’m sorry this happened to you. You will be lucky if she dresses herself or feeds herself. Expect nothing more. Put her in school 5 days a week. Have another baby. Get on with your life. Don't let her stop you from having a good life."

What MY ears came to hear:

WOW! HOW EXCITING! Your daughter, Tyler, has many challenges. What wonderful gifts this beautiful, curly red head little girl will give you during your journey together. Look at that awesome smile. She knows God picked you especially for her. Love her unconditionally. Accept her fully. Be non-judgmental. Know that she is doing the best she can and you are doing the best you can always. You have been blessed. Believe in possibilities. Believe in YOU, Believe in TYLER. Reach for the stars. Run your race to the end ...... As you walk with God on your journey, enjoy every step for you will have the best life ever imagined.

Tyler is now 16 years old. I have been running a Son-Rise program for 10+ years. Our journey has been amazing! She dresses herself and feeds herself and so much more. I never had another baby. I wanted to dedicate my life to Tyler. I am a single mom and I know God gave her to me especially. I am honored to have been chosen. We are walking this journey with God and so very grateful that He brought us to find the Son-Rise program. Everything I had been searching for for months. I have never looked back. I have never given up on Tyler and never will. We are running our race to the end. I truly believe that if I put Tyler in school she would never be where she is today. Son-Rise has given Tyler and I the best life ever imagined!

And so I say to you, Tyler: Thank you for all the wonderful gifts you have given me. Thank you for bringing me to the Option Institute to learn and live the teachings of the Option Process and to become the best mom I could possibly be - a Son-Rise Mom! Little did I know 10 years ago, that your diagnosis wasn’t just about me helping you, but you helping me. Thank you for continually walking this journey with me. You are truly a blessing. You have given me the best life ever imagined. I am so very proud of you and love you dearly !!!

And so I say to you, My Friends: Hear what you want to hear! Never Give Up! Run your Race to the End! Enjoy every step – it’s truly a beautiful journey when you Go Son-Rise!!!

Much Love to you ALL, Jamie

Never Give Up

FROM BEARS: This is about hope - love - daring - and about never giving up. Standing ovation for this woman, this woman, this awesome planetary creature. Ten wows!!!

(From Paula Aitken, Son-Rise Program Mom): My son is 23 years old. He has been doing THE SON-RISE PROGRAM for 9 months. Last 2 weeks have been amazing. He is spontaneously kissing and cuddling me lots first time since he was 4yrs old. He has picked up pens and attempted coloring in for the first time ever. He is making his own choices without being asked for first time. He has NOW said some words a few times so I know he will speak when he is ready. NEVER GIVE UP NO MATTER HOW OLD YOUR CHILD IS. You just need to believe in them.

The Source of Love

I'm wondering. Where does love come from? Is it from an outside source, or does it come from within? I can't speak for anyone else. I can only answer for myself. I know that I've been in situations where I've been "closed up". I wouldn't let love in no matter how hard someone tried. I had to be in total control. I was the keeper of the gate, in charge of what comes in and what goes out. So I dare to say that love is a choice that comes from within me...literally.

It's no coincidence that the heart has two openings - an entrance and an exit. The more I fill myself up with love the more there is to give, and perhaps vice versa. The magic of this attitude is that I am not dependant on someone else loving me to feel loved. I create the feeling within myself.

I enjoy so much paying attention to the physical responses I have when I am filling myself up with love, and sharing my love with others. I remember one occasion at The Option Institute. I believe it was the last day of my week spent at the Power Dialogues course. I don't remember the details, but the end result left a huge impact on me. We were all there. The Power Dialogues group was joined by the people who took another course that ran simultaneously that week, Optimal Self-Trust.

We were asked to make a big circle, join hands, and then find someone in the room that we were grateful for. Then we closed our eyes, and for the next few minutes, sent thoughts of gratitude to that person. So there we were, our Option family. (I don't use the word "family" lightly. It's amazing, how by the end of one week at The Option Institute, a group of total strangers could come together in such a close way.) Some of us knew each other. Some of us didn't. That didn't seem to matter. At that moment we were united, without judgment of one another, opening our hearts to each other.

I began to literally feel a force of heat between my hand and the two people's hands on each side of me whose I was holding. I remember thinking that I wanted to let go because it was so hot, but I didn't want to break the bond. It was intense! The amount of love I felt generating in that room is beyond words. I had never experienced anything like that before. It was absolutely incredible!

So, when you're feeling a little low on love, I'd like to suggest to go within. Create the love within yourself. Sometimes I believe it's helpful to fan the love by doing an act of kindness for another, or to express gratitude. Open up, reach out, then smile, and enjoy the magic that love has to offer.

Wishing you joy and blessings,
Pessy

How Many People Does it Take to Change the World?

FROM BEARS (Barry Neil Kaufman): "How many people does it take to change the world?," a participant who had taken Optimal Self-Trust program asked me today. Margaret Mead said to never underestimate a small group of like-minded and determined people. I suggested to never underestimate the power of one highly-inspired and dedicated person. We change the world by changing ourselves. Just ask one committed Son-Rise Program® mom or dad.

Just ask one person who decided to drop a judgment today. Just ask one lover who approached her significant other with ease and acceptance. Just ask one patient who decided not see their illness as the enemy. Every day we watch folks change, often dramatically...thus, everyday, we get to witness the power of choice and the wonder it can bring to individuals, families and the world. One person at a time! First, you have to want it...and then, second, you have to believe it's possible to attain. Let's keep dreaming and acting on our dreams.

With much love and optimism, Bears

"My Life Has Changed Dramatically"

From Bears (Option Institute Co-Founder): Amazing Paige just completed the Grand Summer Sequence of Programs at the Option Institute and dramatically changed here life. What she says about her personal transformation and personal growth takes my breath away.

I am so happy and my life has changed dramatically!!! Before the Option Process and the Option Institute, I played the victim role and I never took ownership of anything. I always blamed the rain, the noise etc. Now, I take ownership of all of my feelings and am not afraid of being judged for my authenticity or my wants. Now, I realize that I cannot make someone react in any way, it is they themselves who reacts to my words or actions. That is such a beautiful thing. I am constantly dialoguing with myself and my two true friends. I lost a lot of the tissues out of the tissue box. If I feel unhappy and start judging myself I say "That is ok, Paige" and I dig deep inside myself and figure out what is stinging me.

Bears, my inside universe is now congruent with my outside universe and I thank you for giving me the tools to guide me to that place in my life. I love you, Bears!! Please share this with Samahria-she has a been a guiding force in my life as well!!

THANK YOU!!! Love, Paige

There Is No Past - No Kidding

When I think of what happened yesterday or last month or four years ago or two decades ago, I am thinking in the present. When I conjure up images about tomorrow or next month or next year, my "conjuring" is happening right now...in the present moment. Additionally, every time I change a current belief, it changes my belief filter...which means it then changes what I choose to focus on, which could be my past (which is actually my present happening in the present moment). Thus, if I thought yesterday that what I had done was foolish and stupid, then my past would not only be my past (which, though it might be historical, it actually is happening now in the present as a present thought), but, additionally, the imprint of "foolish" or "stupid" would now be part of the past (still my present thinking masquerading as the past).

Then if I attended a program at the Option Institute (for example, Optimal Self-Trust or Empower Yourself) and came to the new (more friendly and self-loving) conclusions that I always do the best I can (one principle we teach) -- then I would remove foolish and stupid as part of my recollection -- and viola, I change the so-called past in regard to what it means to me and how I "frame" it in my thoughts and respond to it. The past, ironically, is a moving target. Suggestion: keep changing our current beliefs in such a way as to create more self-acceptance and love, then check out our recollections (the so-called past) and we'll notice, given our new belief filters, that our history has changed. Thus, it's never too late to change the past and give ourselves a happy childhood (one possibility among many if we want to improve the quality of our lives and make personal growth a stairway to clarity and comfort).
Love, Bears (Barry Neil Kaufman/Co-Founder/Option Institute)