Tuesday, March 22, 2016

MISS-MESSAGING TO OUR CHILDREN:"I know better than you." -- Their conclusion: "I'm not intelligent enough to know."...

Posted by Bears Barry Neil Kaufman on Monday, March 21, 2016

Monday, March 21, 2016

WORK OR DOING YOUR BLISS?I mentioned to some of my students that i hadn't worked in over 35 years. "Wow, they said, I...

Posted by Bears Barry Neil Kaufman on Sunday, March 20, 2016

Wednesday, March 9, 2016



A car can’t hug you. It won’t take care of you when you have a fever. It won’t cheer you up when you are feeling blue. Okay – is this a guy thing to have a love affair with a car? Actually, one of my granddaughters loves cars – she likes to look at them, identify them and talk about the dream car or cars she will eventually buy for herself.
So the answer to the question – can you have a love affair with a car? – is ABSOLUTELY. I bought my dream car in my mid-twenties (I had achieved success at the time working in the motion picture industry) and kept that car for twenty years. I tend to stick with the relationships I choose. I loved its classic lines. And the very glamorous front grill. And this vehicle cornered around the curves in the road like a sports car although it was a very, very large four-door sedan. Inside…well that’s another story. Soft glove-leather seats, dark wood trim (real wood) and a cabin as quiet as a meditation room that floated on wheels. And the motor – well, it just purred at stops signs and roared when you pressed the accelerator to the floor. Me and my car – well, we were an “item” (not for anyone else but all in my own head). I would even tap the fender from time to time and express appreciation out loud…oh yes; I would talk to my car. All relationships really need active authentic verbal exchanges.

This particular photograph of my car is very special to me because one of my children sits atop the vehicle, with feet dangling through the sun-roof. That little person also loved that car, especially the hole in the roof.

Eventually, my car and I went our separate ways. Today, and for the past 16 years, I drive my beloved Toyota SUV – yes, yes, it’s another long term love affair. What I have learned (and which began all those years ago) is simple: WHATEVER YOU DO, WHATEVER YOU ACQUIRE – DO IT WITH GREAT ENTHUSIASM, DO IT WITH MEANINGFUL APPRECIATION…DO IT WITH LOVE! Cars. Furniture. Toasters. Coffee-makers. Mattresses. Houses. Smartphones. Sandals. Your Facebook Page. A Favorite Hat. Oh, and yes, with people, too. Especially with people!!!

Love, Bears Barry Neil Kaufman, Author “Happiness Is A Choice,” To Love Is To Be Happy With” and “No Regrets” and grateful to be key member of the Option Institute/Autism Treatment Center of America teaching staff.

Happiness Option Weekend - March 11-13, 2016

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Listen, just listen

There is nothing quite as delicious as truly being present and hearing what there is to hear.
Today, listen, really listen to your partner, your lover, your child, your parent, your employee, your employer, your teacher, your student....

You may hear something you've never heard before - not because it hasn't been said, but because you were there, you were ready, you were listening this time.

And in the listening you may find a significant opportunity for yourself and the person who you are listening to. 
Communication, Understanding, Acceptance, Love

just listen