Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Weeds or Flowers?

The difference between a flower and a weed is a judgment. I wrote that at the very beginning of my book, "To Love Is To Be Happy With." I am reminded that when people are challenged by special children, an illness being diagnosed, the loss of a lover, the collapse of their income or being deeply misunderstood or maligned, they often think something bad is happening. Weeds? Or Flowers? We get to choose.
Love, Bears

3 comments:

  1. Weeds are merely plants (or situations) that we don't yet know the use of!

    Blessings & thanks for all the great work :)
    A friend of Joyce & Francois'

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  2. I struggle with this one from time to time. I am in a situation now where my wants are a partner, children, and a successful career. I lost my partner 5 years ago and have not successfully found another mate (have been dating, and not finding a match). I am 36, and want to experience pregnancy and having children very much, but biologically my time is running short. I had a job until two months ago, when I was laid off, and haven't had luck finding a new one, despite my applications. Simultaneously, my credit card dropped my limit down to what I owe (citing the economy as a reason- I have never had a late payment). I don't have any savings, and this sudden lack of financial resources means I may soon need to move out of the rental cottage that I love. It seems recently that there are many circumstances that have challenged the life I want to create.

    So, as I have all these wants, and circumstances stand in the way of them, I have the internal dialogue about weeds and flowers. How can I see the loss of my partner, the loss of my job, the lack of children or a love interest in my life, as a flower, and not a weed? I watch so many friends find love, have babies, and share their happiness with me, and I sometimes feel a tug inside of me when I hold their babies or see their love. I can see my job loss as a flower, in that it frees me to explore new directions. But the lack of children or a love interest are things I do struggle with reframing as flowers, because I want them so much. Which I guess makes them needs and not wants if I let them dictate my happiness? I lose emotional clarity in the lessons I learned at Option sometimes, and I am often working to find my way back now, rather than having that clarity just exist within me. Thanks for this post. It's a good prompt for me to explore. I'll be doing a lot of internal dialoguing in the coming days, I am sure, as a result! Much gratitude and love to you!!!

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  3. I am reminded that when people are challenged by special children, an illness being diagnosed, the loss of a lover, the collapse of their income or being deeply misunderstood or maligned, they often think something bad is happening.

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