Monday, December 14, 2009

Eating Is a Substitute for Listening to & Acting on Your Wants

FROM BARB: When I'm eating when I'm not hungry, I'm starting to identify I am "out of the attitude" in some way and and do a "short-cut to happiness" from the Happiness Is a Choice book
I have very specifically noted that when I'm eating "mindlessly" - ie not related to hunger or beyond physical comfort, that I'm usually being fueled in this behavior by not allowing myself to act in a way I actually want. I do a combination of ignoring that quiet voice from within that like a child is tugging my sleeve asking to do something whom I totally "blow off". Plus I am also usually not speaking something I am thinking, and holding that "what I think but do not say" just far enough away from my mouth that I don't say it seems to require a continuous flow of food to sustain like a dam. I find that when I ask myself why I am eating I hear that I am not liking how things are going - either the choices I am making or my lack of authenticity, and if I stop allowing myself to drown that with food it is loud like a bull-horn.
I recently REALLY went of my long-term diet and found I wanted personal time on a certain night and on-going - more of it - and when I marched in and spoke my mind about it and asked for what I wanted (more so announced it) I found the urge to eat extra evaporate. If I commit to no longer over-eating in a way that is nonsensical in light of my chosen diet, it means asking for or announcing what I want loudly, taking more risks in my relationships, and ending judgement and a food blockade to doing what I want, at least some of the time.
Am I willing to do this regularly - it feels really great by the way - or do I want to be a "well-behaved" but over-weight person who is no trouble to people but whose life does not feel so much like their own?

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