From Bobbie: I notice that often participants of programs ask this question and I too wondered how I would bring my new learnings with me when I first started attending programs. I thought that I would share some of the ways I have found helpful for me in this blog.
I am blessed to have friends and family who also attend programs and we have created a very supportive network. This happened because I went home and told everyone how much I was getting from my programs at the Option Institute and they saw how I was choosing to live my life in a different and happy way. Actually using what you learn is key I think. Like so many things languages, working out, and playing an instrument ...getting good at all of these things involves practice. The same is true for the tools you learn at the Option Institute.
One thing that made a huge change in my life was when I became acutely aware of my verbiage. After I attended the Empower Yourself Program I started noticing thatI used "victim" speech terms all the time. An example might be that a computer was not working and I would say, "I really need this thing fixed now or I won't be able to get this report done by Tuesday and Marc will get mad at me." Now I would look at the situation and say Hmmm... this computer isn't working and I "want" to get the report done on time for Marc. Hey, is there another computer I can use on campus? If not, I think I will go home and finish the report there. See how powerful removing that "need" word can be!
I have worked and practiced removing "victim" words from my vocabulary and as a result I have changed my life. Give it a try! don't I use the word "need" I use the word " want ". I catch myself sometimes still but it's great because I have that awarenes...I hear myself about to say "need" and I stop and think, I don't really need anything... I want it. Then I self correct and express what it is that I am wanting. The same thing applies to the word "should". "Should" implies a moral imperative ...if there is a "should" there is a "should not". Making something good and bad, which is not part of the way I choose to live my life.
Even after I explain all of this I have had people ask, "Does a word really make that big of a difference?" My answer is Yes! When you become aware of using words that imply that events and people (something outside of you) are "making" you happy or sad, you can really dig down and see how all day long ...for years and years you have been reinforcing a disempowering belief in your life. Two such examples: "Mary really hurt my feelings." Or "Everything is going wrong, it just not my day."
Being aware of the words I use is still high on my list because even while working towards getting rid of my victim speak I feel that the words we choose hold clues to how we choose to operate in the world.
Hope to update this blog with short snippets of how the Option Process is alive and well in my life everyday!
With Love and Gratitude,