FROM BEARS (Barry Neil Kaufman): Forgiveness - I like it but don't teach it. Why? I'd rather work on dropping my judgment of another person and their actions...and if I do that, then there's nothing to forgive (only love is left). Forgiveness means we let go of our anger or hate (that is useful) but not our judgment (and the turmoil behind it). If I choose to drop my judgment and accept you (though I might disagree), love and kindness follows. Sure, if we decide we can’t let go of our judgment, then forgiveness is a first step...but only a first step. We often use questions (Option Process Dialogue) in a Socratic process in our programs to investigate (and self-investigate) so that we can understand and change the beliefs we have adopted or created which don’t seem to serve us and keep us afraid and alone. Many folks see judgments (you’re bad, it’s bad) as helpful to know what to go toward and what to avoid. Actually, judgments lead to unhappiness and self-righteousness...and that leads to war. If we choose to forgive, let’s remember to go the distance and really question, understand, and, if we want, drop the judgment – and then there will be no need to forgive.