Monday, November 16, 2009

Son-Rise Wide Awake, Sunday: Intention

The alarm clock rang early so we could meet the taxi. Our flight to Hartford was scheduled to leave at 6:30 a.m., and from there a scenic drive to the campus of The Option Institute for a week-long Son-Rise Wide Awake program, which is similar to Wide Awake, but made up of Son-Rise parents and volunteers. I could feel my resolve gathering as I threw my makeup bag into the suitcase and zipped it up. I had a question, and I was going to get an answer.

I had been working on this particular question since my prior visit to The Option Institute, which was, "Why is the approval of other people more important to me than my own happiness?" As I wondered and worried on the question over a few months, it changed slightly to be, "Why is the approval of other people more important to me than my own authenticity?" At least in theory, I could be inauthentic and choose to be happy about my inauthenticity. I'd been doing that off and on for years, but it wasn't creating the life I wanted. I packed my question for the trip along with my toothbrush, but decided that once I walked out of my front door, the question was not getting back into my house. I might drag my question all the way to Sheffield, MA, but I was not leaving without an answer.

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