FROM BEARS (Barry Neil Kaufman): Foundational Principle#3, Option Process (what we teach in our programs at the Option Institute). EVERYTHING WE FEEL, SAY AND DO HAS A CHOSEN BELIEF WHICH FUELS IT. Some folks subscribe to stimulus-response and say: "You made me unhappy." We teach stimulus-belief-response (between an event and our response is the engagement of a belief. So, we might say: "When you do that, I make myself unhappy."
And if I made myself unhappy (frustrated, angry, impatient, sad), then I’m not a victim of what others do or situations around me. If my responses (feelings and behaviors) come from my beliefs (which I created or adopted), then I’m in-charge and can change my beliefs and, thus, change my feelings and behaviors. Stimulus-response = being a victim of what others do. Stimulus-belief-response = we’re in charge of ourselves and then have the power to change by changing our beliefs or belief filters. When I wrote Power Dialogues (a blueprint on how to change beliefs), I also realized that in order for any of us to change we have to: 1) want to change and 2) believe we can. You can. I can. We can.