Jo (one of my Son-Rise team members) talked about using stress, she described "...a tight feeling of urgh, first thing in the morning..." this she said "...helped remind her that she had to tend to her financial matters and...how useful it was..."
Many people can perhaps empathise with this, it is indeed a modality I used very frequently in my life too, to motivate myself to work harder or do a better job! It has been very good friend over the years, however, I recently decided I wanted to part company with this fella. Why? you might ask, well I found each time I was actually using the fear of failure to motivate myself. Consequently I didn't enjoy the journey and I when I got to my carrot I breathed a sigh of relief thanking the powers above for saving me yet again from a terrible consequence, failure!
So I didn't enjoy the journey or the end goal.
Whilst running a Son-Rise programme for my son over the last few years I found myself during feedback repeatedly saying "...it is about the process, not about the end goal,..just have fun trying, the result will happen and even if it doesn't at least you will have had fun trying..."
Then a peculiar thing happened, I decided to believe it! I went to do Mentor Certification this year (2010) I had very little time to prepare. So I had a choice do my old modality or have fun while doing my best, just letting go of the outcome that was the solution to all of biggest challenges in my life, all my judgements and expectations.
I realised this was one of few places on this earth that pressure would never work to achieve my end result anyway, so I surrendered myself to the process and dived in with all my self-studentship, 3E's and my clear purpose . I decided to trust the teachers were there and responsible for teaching me, i.e. when I didn't know something it meant nothing about me, but raised my hand to ask questions until I did. It was like being a kid again.
The result was delicious, I had the best time loving and supporting my co-participants always knowing we were all doing the best we could. We built relationships I would never have imagined and also learnt more about the Option Process Dialogue. Any time I felt any discomfort I worked on it immediately to align myself with my intention, constantly building a network of happiness supporting beliefs.
Then I got my grades and I passed with great marks. So it was a win-win, my journey was my carrot the result was just more evidence to support the good feeling I gave myself all month and want to go on to give myself...