From Pessy: I recently listened to the webinar, "Secrets for a Loving & Easy Relationship" by Samahria Lyte Kaufman, Co-Founder/Co-Director of The Option Institute. Although I am not currently in a relationship with a partner, I decided to listen to that webinar because I am seriously involved in a relationship with myself! There were so many tips and tools to take from the webinar. I decided to walk away with a piece of information that I feel is so valuable: To want something, to do what it takes to go after it, and at the same time to be ok without getting it.
I've made weight an issue for myself for almost half of my life, if not more. I've tried many diets. I've lost weight and gained weight, but have never truly been satisfied with my appearance. While listening to the webinar I began to wonder if I could apply the idea of going after what I want without being attached to the outcome regarding my weight. The more I thought about it the more I liked the idea.
At first I thought that this will be just one more thing I try. You know what? It just might be, but somehow it feels different. I'll tell you why. With all of the other diets and things I've done to motivate myself to lose weight I defined myself by the success or failure of my results. Therefore, as soon as I didn't see myself getting the results I wanted I quit. I stopped trying. I believed that I just couldn't succeed. I considered myself a failure when it came to my weight and being comfortable in my own skin. I stopped working towards what I said I wanted, and actually began actively working away from it!
If I choose to believe that I can want something, go after it, and still be happy even if I don't get it then I am defining myself by my actions - not my results. That feels different. That feels empowering. That feels amazing to me! I want to define myself by my actions rather than by my successes or failures. I want to do the things it takes to get me to where I want to be. If I get there - fantastic! If I don't get there I can explore by using The Option Process® Dialogue, and take a look at what I'm doing and why. I can ask myself, "Do I really want what I'm going after? Am I doing what it takes to get myself there?" With my own answers I can decide if I want to change my actions, or keep on going. I can do all of this with my end goal in mind. I can do all of this, and still go after what I want. I can do all of this and still be happy and comfortable with myself - even if I haven't gotten what I wanted.
To want something, to do what it takes to go after it, and at the same time to be ok without getting it.
Ahh...Enjoying the journey!
Wishing you joy and success,