Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Unhappiness chosen by others

Thought about unhappiness chosen by others: If someone I love chooses to get unhappy and I get unhappy about their unhappiness, we now have two unhappy people in the room. Since I am free to choose my feelings and others are free to choose theirs, then my business is about my happiness or unhappiness and their business is about their happiness or unhappiness. What we can do is love them, NOT join them.



Joan G. - WOW....just the subject I was discussing with my son last night...thank you

Brian E. - Mmmm, thanks for the reminder...deep love and gratitude, Brian

Holly B. S. - Another lovely insight to read at the beginning of my day. THANKS!

Simone D. L. T. - There's such a huge belief in my latin culture that you don't care about people if you don't join them in their unhappiness. In a Brazilian Son-Rise Yahoo group I was once acused of being cold, heartless and rude when I was helping a Mom with questions, at her own request, not being a victim, helping her to be grateful for the challenges in her life. The same thing has happened here on Facebook with people unfamiliar to the Option process.

Sean F. - Bears you told me this 15 years ago in the 'hug line' after a HOW class. And it is still a conversation I think about when choosing to be happy when someone else might think it appropriate for me to be unhappy 'for them' Thanks for taking that moment!

Angela Z. - It's so easy to join them in their unhappiness but also in their happiness. But taking a step back, looking at what you're doing and desciding to step into your own business and choose your own happiness. That's what I want to do and choose to do. Thank you Bears.

Neal E. - Thank you. Have an Awesome Day! Keep in touch...

Melinda C. - Bears, when I read your comment last night...I had just chosen unhappiness and I was letting myself wallow in it. I was pittiful, then your words filled my head and I thought "Wow, I don't have to be unhappy do I?" I knew I could choose, but I needed that reminder. I choose to make the last few moments of my night sweet instead of sour. Thank you again!

Karen H. - Yep. Thank you so much. I activlely was able to CHOOSE NOT to join someone in their inhappiness (mmm INhappiness typos are so special sometimes) I'm going to enjoy my INhappy today). It IS simple it IS easy you just have to remember to make it BIG that thing called happiness... own your own happiness learn from the "take away" pull it in... fill it up and let it back out all special and perfect. Much Love, and thank you again - this afternoon is going to be so especialy different....

Alison S. T. - I think that if we choose unhappiness because someone around us is unhappy, it means in some way we are still buying in to the stimulus response model, because we are believing that in some way other people will change the way they are behaving because of us, e.g. our unhappiness demonstrates our caring and so can 'make' another person feel better. However, if we really get that other people are responsible for their behaviour in the same way that we are responsible for ours then it frees us to choose happiness regardless of the choices around us. This realisation has been really useful this afternoon, when a few people chose unhappiness around me. I am still happy : )

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