From Bears (Barry Neil Kaufman): Choose love

Why is choosing to love everyone such a hard sell? Because 1) we ask people to "earn" our love, 2) we think if we love everyone, even the bus-driver, then our love is not special, 3) we believe love is about who is loved not who chooses to love and 4) we think we become more vulnerable when we love. Totally incorrect. Those who choose to love, choose power, kindness and caring from within. Choose love. Bears

Comments:

Maureen W. G. P.- wonderful words, I give you my love

Julie A.- you always seem to poast what i need to hear on the day i need it.

Meghann T. - Bears, how do you suggest I love the bus driver? Where I live, bus drivers see that I'm a teenager, and refuse to let me on the bus, as they assume I intend to vandalise...

Judy M. - I am loving people more that I am learning to love, accept, and embrace myself as I am just the way I am. In turn, I am learning to love, accept, and embrace others as they are just the way they are. I am allowing myself to be who I am and allowing others to be who they are.

Joyce V. S. - Meghann, just love that busdriver even more - he is doing the best he can to protect himself - you could just try it and see how it feels - if it feels god, keep doing it ;-)

Corbie . - *chuckle* Oh, Bears, your comments and thoughts must be getting to me on a very deep level -- the last dream I had last night was a *dialogue with you* on hugs, the value/necessity/definition of personal space, and maintaining it while being completely open and nonjudgmental. And I know I made shifts even within the dream! If anything speaks to how deeply Option's ingrained in me, that's it -- so much love to you and Samahria, and I'll see you in the fall!

Mary v. d. V. - I totally agree with you Bears. To love is to be happy with...

Jill Keetch M. - Thank you so much! this is a great reminder. Since I'm really the ONLY one who can actually feel my love when I am loving others, I am really filling myself with love! And that feels so great!

Dolores G. - I disagree, I believe when you are loving others they can feel it too. That is if it's not done at a distance.

Pat P. - Love it, thanks Bears

Shaun K. - Love is a very vague term. I think you need to specify exactly what you mean by love here. I think it is a hard sell because very basically nobody "loves" everyone in the strongest sense of the word which, out of preservation of a valuable concept, people tend to reserve it for.
1) as a feeling that needs to be "earned" one could compare it to a refined skill regarding a relation to an individual, in which case it may need to be nurtured and developed, and in a sense earned.
2) as an "unusually" intense emotion, it would obviously become "usual" making it less "special" if you were to attempt to make it constant...after a while one may become "desensitized" or unclear as to how it even felt.
3) "love" to some may be about both who is being loved, and who is loving... i think mutual love tends to be self reinforcing, and has much more developmental potential than non mutual love, which would seem to fade naturally.
4) love and trust are often associated...
Suzanne L.I have to admit, I choose to hold on to the 2nd belief....but I'll linger on the "why" of that for a while :-)

Alison S. T. - I have been reading Happiness is a choice again and last night was reading the part about the 'reach' of belief transmission, pg 61 - 64 where you describe a scenario where a man hooks up a plant to a polygraph machine and notices that the plant reacts to him fantasizing about damaging the plant. Somehow the plant is getting stressed about the man deciding how he will damage the plant. So even though the man did not speak to the plant (assuming the plant could have understood speech anyway) something is transmitted. Is this not the same with love, that when one person loves another - something is transmitted to the other person. There have been times when people have loved me and I have not wanted it, but I have felt the vibe even though I rejected it. So I don't think that loving other people is just a cosy feeling I give myself and that being loved is still about me producing the good feelings for myself - I believe something is transmitted.

Simone D. L. T. - Just as children who never tried a food and will say "I don't like it" because of it's appearance, our beliefs are there, ugly as they look, scaring us to try something new, a new concept, to try to love each and everyone, everytime. Our belief says it's ugly so we don't try and we deprive ourselves from nature's most delicious fruit.

Dolores G. - It's not hard to love everybody once we realize noone is our enemy. We make them so in our minds only. Problem with most people is that we worry far too much about what other people are thinking about us when in reality they are more concerned with what we are thinking about them. [you see our egos won't let us be concerned with anybody but our own selves ;)] Knowing this lets me love them showing them that I am not "out to get them" but to care about them. It's putting that old song into practice "peace, let it begin with me." If we show others they have nothing to fear from us then they in return will respond in kind.

Susan G. - I still want to pinch myself when I choose happiness and can unblock myself by making rational choices. Is it really that easy, Bears? Can I simply choose to let go and in a second, let go? It seems to be working that way. Why couldn't I accept and let go before? Why now, can I do it? Choosing love, peace, joy and happiness is a no brainer. Why would anyone choose fear, anxiety and worry? They paralyze you and keep you from solving your problems. Changing my perception has freed me to solve my problems and has given me the energy I need to be able to do so.