What a crazy thing to say, you may think. But let's look at the choices. We could say, "This is horrible"; "This is bad for me"; "This will ruin my life". Or we can see this - and anything else that arrives at our doorstep - as an opportunity and a way for us to recreate a new roadway to actually MORE of what we want... rather than less.
These are only beliefs which we can choose. But if we choose the "This is horrible!" belief, we are left with a lost, scared and perhaps hopeless feeling. If we decide this will be good for us (a belief we can choose) and we see it as perfect for ourselves (even if we don't yet know how it's perfect), we feel a sense of adventure, no fear and definitely a hopeful perspective about the future.
Do you know anyone that has viewed a situation that most would call "bad" (e.g. a child that is born with challenges, a loss of a loved one, a marriage that has ended) as an opportunity instead of a tragedy? This just shows us that, if one person has believed it, we all have the possibility to believe it. In essence, "Happiness Is A Choice" (see book by ["Bears"] Barry Neil Kaufman) - and for me, it sure beats misery!
In these times of possible job loss, we will be in a much more pro-active, powerful and effective position to take care of ourselves if we believe that whatever is happening is perfect for us than if we believe it's bad for us. We have lots more energy and feel much more motivated toward action and achievement when we feel good about ourselves and trusting that we'll be fine. This is a time for self improvement and perhaps the first chance you've had in a long time to reflect on yourself and your life, and consider options you haven't allowed yourself to entertain.
My husband, "Bears", and I had such an opportunity when we discovered that our son, Raun, was autistic. We created an intensive program for him, during which we re-evaluated every aspect of ourselves and all that we were doing in our lives. Utilizing what has come to be called "Power Dialogues", we dramatically explored and changed ourselves. Ultimately, this lead to our founding The Option Institute (and the Son-Rise Program at the Autism Treatment Center of America). What a gift!
Losing your job could be the next unforeseen gift in your life ... if you believe it's perfect for you.
Samahria
I just lost my job, and have been consciously trying to stay in this mindset you describe. In a way, this was a push out of a comfortable rut I was falling in at my old job. It was a great job and provided me with stability and experience that I needed, and I am choosing to see the time I was employed there as a period of growth that has come to a natural end and has prepared me for whatever the next chapter is. I now have new opportunities to change careers, find new work that will fulfill me. I would like to stay in the rental home I am now in, which I love, but without a sufficient income, I may need to move out in a few months when my reserves run out. If that happens, however, I am going to see that as an opportunity as well, maybe to move to a new city and change the scenery. Thanks for the reminder, Samahria. I occasionally slip into "victim" thinking, and it helps to stop and adjust my beliefs.
ReplyDeleteSamahria,
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the word of blogging! Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Great to hear from you!
Your parenting and life perspective practice have been an inspiration for me since 1978, when I was first introduced to you through your book Son Rise. I have referred many people to that book, and others you and Bears have written over the years as well as The Option Institute.
I look forward to reading and learning more about what you are up to through your blog!
Thanks again, and all the very best to you and your family,
Pamela
Samahria,
ReplyDeleteI recently heard a friend saying: I might get brook which is perfect, because I've been thinking of changing carreer path.
My answer to him was: why wait to you get brook before making the carreer change. What would your thoughts have been?
Love
Joy