Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Postponing Happiness

I have been noticing that I'm using unhappiness to get what I want in a lot of different situations. I use unhappiness to motivate myself to do my job or to do house work. I tell my self: Let me just get this done, and then I can be happy and do something fun. I also use unhappiness to motivate others - I get unhappy and they do what I want (at least it works sometimes...)

But the paradox is that what I want is to be happy! And being unhappy is definitely not giving me that - happiness! So why do I keep using unhappiness to get all the other things that I want - to get my job done, to get people to do the things that I want them to etc.? I think that in the moment I believe that when I just get this then I can be happy - so I always believe that I am only postponing happiness for a breif period. And that might be so - but there is always new things that I want - to do or to have others do - so I keep postponing happiness again and again...

You might think that the result is that I am unhappy all the time - luckily it's not. Actually I am hppy most of the time, and my use of unhappiness doesn't last very long - but I want to get rid of this part of my unhappiness too. I want to quit using unhappiness to cahnge things and to get things done. Even an hour, or a few minutes being unhappy is not getting me what I want - Happiness! I don't want to postpone happiness for even the shortest amount of time. But why do I keep doing unhappiness, if I am so sure that I want to be happy? The problem is that it seems to work - at least often times it does. When I'm happy I am often more careless about my job - I take an extra day off, I work less hard etc. When I use unhappiness to motivate myself I seem to be more efficient; I work really hard - to get it done - so that I get out of the unhappiness and start being happy again. When I'm unhappy people also seem to be more willing to do what I want them to do. When I sound irritated or a little stressed, it works. I get the things done and I get what I want.

But actually I don't! Because I have to be unhappy while doing it! And that is not what I want! I guess the real problem hee is that I hold the belief that being unhappy works - that it gives me what I want. Yes, it might help me get my job done faster, and it might help me motivate others to do different things - but despite of that, unhappiness isn't working because of one major thing: I'm being unhappy while using unhappiness! I want to change this belief! My new belief is: Using unhappiness never works! Being happy is my number one priority - and being unhappy can never get me that - no matter for how short a period I am using unhappiness!

Being happy is what I want! Being unhappy can never ever give me that! It seems so obvious now - doesn't it?

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