The first remarkable thing that happened, Barry Neil ("Bears") Kaufman said in class this morning that it's helpful to have an intention to change something when we do Dialogues. That's backwards from how I have been approaching Dialogues. Usually, I spend some time before a Dialogue thinking about the subject that I want to explore. Maybe, it would be more useful to think about the change I want to make. After all, I can uncover almost any belief that I have my looking deeply into a single reaction (like, what I choose for lunch) rather than across an issue (like, why do I feel lonely). Maybe that's why I'm finding so many opportunities to change during this program--I set my intention to change something before I arrived.
The second remarkable thing that happened was thinking about whether I was afraid to "run out" of opportunities to Dialogue. In other words, if I change all my limiting beliefs and how I see things in an unhappy way, then what? I don't get to Dialogue anymore? Bears spoke in class about how I could use the Dialogue as a way to discover how to create more happiness instead of a way to get out from under unhappiness. Rather than exploring why this person's actions or that person's judgment "makes" me unhappy, I could (even now) explore what beliefs I want to create that would help me be a more loving spouse, more fun in Eric's Son-Rise Program playroom, a more present lawyer, how to love more.
The key is for me to remember that (if I'm unhappy) that I'm making myself unhappy, which not only takes away my self-righteousness, but provides the doorway to change.
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