Monday, February 21, 2011

Setting Up What You Want


Did you see that documentary film called "What the BLEEP Do We Know!?"? One of its featured speakers spoke about "creating his day". Basically, he would think about what he wanted for that particular day. He felt this was, somehow, constructing a course for short-term future events. His experience often surprised him by conforming in completely unforeseen ways, to his visioning of the day to come. Neat! Right? Do you believe that we provide input into the experiences that unfold as we step into them?

Not long ago, my sister introduced me to "affirmations". They sounded nice, sweet, but I didn't really get what they were about. Then, in the heat of a speedy iTunes purchase, I accidentally bought an affirmations album by Deepak Chopra, thinking it was actually meditation music. Nonetheless, a happy accident! Once I listened to a few of the affirmations, I understood better what my sister liked about them - it seems like a way of creating one's day. A means of setting intention aligned with what we want, with our purpose. It's amazing how in the context of a busy life, it's easy to completely forget one's purpose, or to go for what we want for ourselves.

The Option Institute teaches a philosophy called The Option Process® which Bears (Barry Neil Kaufman) has briefly defined as "happy existentialism". Before being introduced to it, I had no idea that philosophy could be so practical, life-changing, and useful! It has helped me to explore my purpose in the major areas of my life (in my marriage, as a father, etc.). In the often hectic day-to-day, though, I sometimes stray from these purposes simply because they aren't at the forefront of my mind.

Holding what we want in our minds, cycling it through the foreground of our thoughts regularly, and believing that it is absolutely possible to achieve what we passionately want - is that enough to swim straight when the current turns into us? Sometimes we seem to float down our path. Other times, not quite a floating thing. Still, whatever we are faced with, we can choose to move to make our goals and dreams happen, regardless of how we may be judged by others.

Taking a moment to revisit my purpose(s) and/or how I want to change how I am in the world is grounding - it resets my course. So, a practice of "day creation" has grown from those moments of self-reflection. As I drift toward sleep at night, I visualize something like an imagined group of internal project managers that have experience in the metaphysical (or quanta). It's like a strategy meeting to lay out the specs of my biggest wants. For example, I might make a plan coming out of some self-studentship, "I will have the presence to remain non-judgmental tomorrow, more successfully than I did today." While planning, I am conscious, as I am with Eidan in his Son-Rise Program, of whether my request is crafted to set me up for success. I don't concern myself with the "how" because my project managers have that part covered. When I roll out of bed in the morning, I recall the notes from the last night's "meeting". This little ritual helps me to stay on track with myself, by creating a reference point for making choices during the day.

Throw what works for you in setting up what you want into a comment below or on Facebook! Spread the love!


  1. I needed this. I can't say what works for me because I don't feel anything is. My default setting seems to be ulta-critical of myself and others. After a very tough couple of years, I'm spent. Trying gratitude, prayer, meditation, helps for a moment, or a day, if I'm lucky, maybe a week, but then something happens and I've fallen back down
    into the pit. Thank you for this post. I'm transitioning
    from evangelical, born again Christian beliefs to
    something more inclusive and organic. It's been a tough, yet enlightening road. I find myself putting everything I hear and read - like your post- through my filter of evangelical Christian background to see if it aligns. It's a trying process. I want so much to let go, trust my Creator and Indwelling Spirit. Again, thanks for this post. I guess I didn't add what you asked for, but writing about this was something I needed.

  2. ruthann, thanks for your comment - I'm touched that this post was useful as you explore you beliefs. I no longer consider my "default setting" to be the critical perspective that it used to be, mostly because I chose to love myself rather than judge myself when I stumbled on the path to acceptance. Consistent reminders of "everyone is doing the best they can with what they have" has helped, too, but I can't claim to be free from judging, yet! Still, I would be putting myself and others down were it not for having a child with autism and finding the Autism Treatment Center of America and The Option Institute, where they teach the attitude of love and acceptance so powerfully. If you are new to The Option Institute, you can receive free info at this URL:,single,395

    Wishing you all the best on your journey!!