From Bears: On family

Family: Blood and/or choice. Recently, a member of my birth family insisted shared blood defined family. I said, among my six children, three are adopted children (from situations of trauma) and do not share blood. Nor did any of my five grandchildren whom I adore. Choices create families, whether or not blood is shared. Being Moms and Dads are not defined by titles but earned by loving action and caring. Many of us have educated ourselves to learn about math and science and many professional endeavors. Few of us have studied how we want to parent and the key loving and successful components of child-rearing. Often, we stumble, not out of lack of wanting to love and teach our children to be happy and respectful and motivated and inspired but ... because we lack of clear purpose and a clear teaching/training model. In our Parenting Program (next seminar this fall), we discuss the notion of love as a verb – as a choice and an action. We can honor our pedigree and genetics but perhaps more significant is to honor our place in a larger human family where all children are our children….no shared blood required. Love, Bears

Comments:

Marie T. - Very well said Bears, I always felt that way about all children. I was just telling my husband how I always wanted, since I was a child, to do something meaningful with my life, live my life with purpose. I can see that God answered my prayer by sending me my autistic son, who has gone through numerous health crisis for the past seven years. Being a mother is the most meaningful service I have done and has brought me the closest to God. Love, Marie

Susan G. - My closest friends are my dearest family. They are family by choice. I love my blood relatives but my friends are the world to me.

Nicole M. S. - That's been my opinion for most of my life. Thanks for putting it out there in to the universe!

Lindy L. S. - I believe that too!

Bradand L. H. - When I read this I thought of my husband; married into 2 children with special needs, sonrise programs, honeymoon at max impact etc - the decision to love is the greatest love of all!

Karen H. - One of our closest family members is Uncle Mark! Not really an uncle, not blood related, not related at all, just a man that my husband met when he started work at the post office about 25 years ago. Uncle Mark is now the Godfather to both of our children and has been our most precious volunteer in our Son Rise program, coming to play with our son twice a week without fail for the last 8 years! He is our very, very best friend, he came forward when others disappeared, he is our inspiration and the love of our lives.

Simone D. L. T. - I have many nephews and my Godson and his brother are no different to me. Their Parents are just dear friends, not blood related, but I always think of them as my family, I even listed them in the Family application on Facebook. While I did it I thought there were many more friends I could list in there as my family.

Karen B. - How wondeffulXX

Rekha N. - I learn more and more each day from my kids, my little Serena has shocked many a person who has walked though our doors. After knowing them for a few minutes she announces that she loves them and embraces them just as she does with me. One lady said "but you have only known me for 20mins, how can you love me" so I said "how long did it take you to decide you your were going to love your new born child?" I am so grateful for all my Son-Rise team and my friends, what a fab extended family.x

Lise B. - your right Bears, i have two nieces, whom are adopted,i love them with all my heart and soul...i would not traded them for any body elses....they are my life and they saved my life.... they gave me a second chance tyo life...THANK YOU JANEL AND JOSEE

Lise B. - i don't have any children.. i do work with children and they are my children.....I LOVE THEM JUST AS THEY ARE MY CHILDREN...

Roxanne L. - I love this and fully agree! There really is nothing as wonderful in this world as loving your child and every day I choose to love my angel even more!

Susan G. - Rekha, your daughter is precious and your response was awesome!

Miguel A. - Members of the same family, not always are born under the same roof. Our choices define our family.

Amy O. R. - If family were limited to blood relation than a married couple/ life partners couldn't be considered family when really they are the foundation of it all.

Amy O. R. - I should clarify my last comment. By the traditional blood relation definition the parents are considered the foundation of the family... Which contradicts the definition since they aren't blood related to each other.

Susan G. - Exactly, Amy! It is why I use to lovingly teased my mom that she was only married to my father for 53 years (may he rest in peace) but I was blood related. It is so silly! These are just further ways we divide each other instead of looking at humankind as one big family. Perhaps if we did that we really would repair the world.