Wednesday, July 27, 2011

From Bears: Foundational Principle #3

Foundational Principle#3, Option Process (what we teach in our programs at the Option Institute). EVERYTHING WE FEEL, SAY AND DO HAS A CHOSEN BELIEF WHICH FUELS IT. Some folks subscribe to stimulus-response and say: "You made me unhappy." We teach stimulus-belief-response (between an event and our response is the engagement of a belief. So, we might say: "When you do that, I make myself unhappy."

And if I made myself unhappy (frustrated, angry, impatient, sad), then I’m not a victim of what others do or because of situations around me. If my responses (feelings and behaviors) come from my beliefs (which I created or adopted), then I’m in charge and can change my beliefs and, thus, change my feelings and behaviors. Stimulus-response = being a victim of what others do. Stimulus-belief-response = we’re in charge of ourselves and then have the power to change by changing our beliefs or belief filters. When I wrote Power Dialogues (a blueprint on how to change beliefs), I also realized that in order for any of us to change we have to: 1) want to change and 2) believe we can. You can. I can. We can. Love, Bears


Shaun K.- bears will you please thoroughly explain what you mean when you say the word belief?

Bears Barry Neil Kaufman - Two ideas for you, Shaun: 1) read Power Dialogues -- there is an entire chapter devoted to what beliefs are and why we create them. 2) let's see what others post as an answer to you question -- we have so many knowledgeable students that I am sure can help here. Love, Bears

Shaun K. - well, bears i was hoping you would be able to paraphrase for us. Seeing as how it is your philosophy I figured we would be better off getting the explanation from the source. I do understand the need to reserve some info for sales sake to...

But if anyone else is willing to detail what the word belief means to them it would ve very much appreciated.

I think it would be a valuable topic for discussion as it seems to be very close to the root of the option philosophy as a whole. To me, a belief is an arrangement of words that one is devoted to or invested in

Jenn M. - To me it is something I think is true.

Larry B.- to believe, or not to believe is a choice. What we believe a stimuli might mean, good, bad, or all degree's inbetween or beyond, is also a choice. We experience what is going on, emotionally, as a direct result of the meaning we create, make believe, it mens. Does the flavor of belief help or hinder one in advancing towards a happier, or more enjoyable experience of whatever is going on or not? Perhaps this might be a useful criteria to apply to ones choice of belief?

Peter A. V. L. - Hi Bears

I have heard you say that so many times now and that is just so perfect. I have reasonly become aware of the idea that is just a belief and I think that strengthen the concept. Just as you wrote youself in "Happyness Is A Choice": I... might be totally wrong, but I will rather be happy. People have told me that I shouldn't be part of the "Option sect", but we are only making up beliefs and that is the safest place for me to be. Because every belief I change has been gently changed by me and nobody has forced me to anything - and also can't do that, which is my belief.

I am so happy to have the choice of happiness and I love the day I will see the Option Institute again.

I can't remember what is written in Power Dialogues, but I have my own version - which I guess that we all have.

A belief is a thought I use to me sence for me in the world. I see it as a process of perception: I sence stimulus, I then make sence of it through my beliefs and then I act upon what I beliefs. So by forming beliefs I am chosing how we want to make sence of the world I live in. Very nice!!!

By the way I think everyone is their own source to how we understand the Option Process. Bears has his set of beliefs and I have mine and I want to adobt some of Bears beliefs by attending classes at the Option Institute, but I don't think I would be happy if everything I had learned was from somewhere out of me. I learn from myself and that's really solid.

- Ethan ♥

Alison S. T. - Beliefs are our own make belief that either we have created for ourselves or adopted from other people. We are totally free to choose whatever beliefs we want to create. We also keep alive our beliefs by rechoosing them which makes them feel stronger. We choose and maintain our beliefs in order to take care of ourselves in the best way we know how. Also I think that beliefs are not facts and that we are free to change them at any point, however if we treat them like facts or truths then we are in a way we are doing that to protect them from challenge. Our belief system stretches into every area of our lives even the way we view an event that has occured. I used to work for an insurance company and the witness reports that I read as part of claim forms were testament to this. An example of this was a road accident where a large articulated lorry had ended up in a ditch. The first witness said that she thought that the driver was drunk because the lorry was swerving all over the road.

Alison S. T.- The second witness said that the driver wasn't paying attention to the road and was using a CB radio as she could see his arm waving about. The third witness said that a car coming the other way had driven too close to the lorry causing it to swerve into the ditch. The driver said that a bumble bee had got into his cab and he was trying to direct it out of the window again. Four people, four different accounts of the same incident, each person was sure that they were right. The outcome was the insurance compay got a £13,000 bill for damage to the lorry. So is there a right answer - or are we making it up. I believe that we are making it up, but then I am making that up too, because I think that is the best way to take care of me, because I can decide to make it up differently if the first version no longer is helpful to me.

Larry B. - Right on Alison, thanks for reminding about that fascet of our ability, and how some distract themselves believing their make-belief is 'fact.'.....and tend to gloss over, their own hand in creating their version/belief...

Seliger R. - A belief = your premise of what you understand to be your (absolute) truth.

Truth being a non negotiable premise that simply is just that.

PD helps one to get intouch with that truth. ;)))

North W. - Recently someone ask me about Option, I give them a short version of was so cool they labeled me as one of those "Berkshire Radicals" of my proudest moments to be judged.

Peter A. V. L. - Alison! That was a great story to amplify the strength of a believe as non-factual. If beliefs was facts then, in our minds, we would not even considder question them, because our brain doesn't question facts - well my brain doesn't - and then Power Dialogues would have no effect.

A question for people who read this page: Could you make believe that "facts" can be categorized as pices of information that you don't question rather then real univerial laws that never changes?

By the, I love you, North!! Every fiber of you Birkshire Radical being, He he he.

Alison S. T. - So does it serve us better to hold 'facts' about life or 'beliefs' about our life? Facts can seem strong, solid and dependable - we know where we are with something that doesn't change. Whereas beliefs are fluid, flexible and changeable. Remembering that we are in charge of choosing what goes on in our own heads, which do we want to choose? When deciding for myself, I liked the analogy of the tree in the tornado. Is a strong solid tree like an oak likely to survive or is a thin flexible tree that can bend with the wind more likely to survive. In the 1987 hurricane in the UK (I have to go back that far as we don't have many here) I think that Sevenoaks in Kent lost 6 out of 7 of it's oaks, so the oak tree lost out to the tree that leaned with the wind. Water moves and is flexible too, in a river the water keeps moving and can bring down the strongest fortress built on a cliff by the sea.

So the ability to choose beliefs for ourselves, knowing that we are making them up, is a great way to take care of ourselves, because we can move with the flow. It's so much more fun too as we can be playful with creating beliefs, it doesn't have to be hard painful work - unless of course we choose that.

Loving the discussion peeps..... keep the ideas coming!!!

Peter A. V. L. - My belief about this, and this is a quick hit, is that we really know nothing about our lives and therefore we have the ability to make up anything we want. so what is the strongest facts or beliefs? I guess the one that we choose (to believe in).

Alison S. T.- I like that Ethan!!! : ) Your comments are so inspiring for me.

Peter A. V. L. - Good for you, Alison! Well done!

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